USC SWEATERS V. OSU SWEATER VEST AND MANDEL ON THE GATORS

 SNL has scrutinized from a myriad of angles the potential outcome of a contest featuring the USC sweaters and the Vest, popularized (somewhere) by Ohio St. Coach, Tressel.  Without overtly divulging the winner, let’s just hope that the football game is more evenly matched for the Buckeyes.

USC v. Ohio St., cleverly dubbed “trobuckalypse” by Dr. Saturday, has quickly become one of the least anticipated top-5 matchups in CFB history.  Naturally, this is largely due to the Buckeyes uninspiring win over Da’ Baby ‘U last week, which was admittedly pathetic.  That said the national pundits, including Mandel (below) and Herbstreit, have sounded strangely similar to the Presidential Candidates this week as they laud Ohio State’s talent as every bit the equal of USC’s, but conclude that USC simply cannot lose this game, and should win handily.

Degenerate Gamblers are on board with this assessment as over 70% of the money wagered to date has been on the favorite, despite a jaw-dropping opening line of 10.5.  SNL, for one, would like to remind everyone that while USC is strong, VIRGINIA is freakin’ terrible-as in, won’t win more than 3 games in the lowly ACC this year and barely managed to triumph over Richmond.  Naturally, this means that the Men of Troy’s absolute trouncing of the swordless Cavaliers IS essentially meaningless-despite the national media’s corporate by-line:  “USC traveled all the way across the country and pounded a BCS team.”  Virginia, which lost nearly every signficant contributor to last year’s team which, oh yeah, won five games by less than 5 points and was woefully inept on offense, is no more a BCS team than Duke.

Also embedded in the collective psyche of the CFB world are the Buckeyes’ colossal failures in the BCS title game and to a lesser extent, the perceived weakness of the Big 10 as a whole.  Despite how vogue SEC (and USC) fans find it to pile on the Big 10, and especially, the Buckeyes, the talent gap between these two teams is negligible.  So it is surprising, to say the least, that the Buckeyes have gone from preseason No. 1 to nothing more than another lamb for the invincible Trojans who, for all of their non-conference success, have blown it plenty over the past two seasons to much lesser opponents.

Intangibles aside, this game likely boils down to the Buckeyes ability to protect the QB and put together some semblance of a passing game, which they have been unable to do when matched up with D-lines of commensurate experience and talent.  SNL suspects this is not lost on “the Vest,” who, despite his dubious choice of sideline garb, fields a very talented team and is very aware that he will have to loosen up USC’s run-stoppers to have any hope of success.  For Buckeye backers, this game is yet another chance to show that its raison de’ etre’ is not limited to  blackening the eyes of its little sisters in the Big 10 and summarily surrendering to the first foe of equal or greater talent.

In sum, Ohio State is no more a punching bag than USC is an unconquerable fortress of football greatness.  WHOA!!! The Trojans, untested by the lamb that is UVA, are more than capable of losing this contest, particularly if their gunslinging quarterback continues his Favre-esque penchant for forcing the football into tight coverage.

ELSEWHERE…

 

 SI’s premier CFB pundit, Stewart Mandel, handsome devil that he isn’t, crafted the following response to an e-mail query this week:

I’ll cut right to the chase. Florida overrated? Miami underrated? Or somewhere in between?
– Kyle, Miami

Despite the final score, Miami showed a lot of progress last Saturday night. The ‘Canes’ influx of young talent on defense seemed to have an immediate effect, holding down Tim Tebow and the Gators’ cast of skill players for the better part of three quarters. And the impact of new defensive coordinator Bill Young, formerly of Kansas, was undeniable. Miami mixed up its blitzes and coverages far more than it did when Randy Shannon was still calling the shots on defense (though in his defense, Shannon didn’t have much need for trickery back when his arsenal included Ed Reed, Sean Taylor, Jonathan Vilma, Antrel Rolle …)

Are the ‘Canes underrated? That’s hard to say when they weren’t “rated” to begin with. SI picked Miami to go 7-5 going into the season, and that’s probably still a fairly realistic projection. Because of their youth, the ‘Canes figure to be inconsistent, and while QB Robert Marve looked good at times in his debut, he’s still clearly lacking talent around him.

And yes, I do think the Gators are slightly overrated. While my fellow pollsters elevated them to fourth over the weekend, I kept them at seventh (which, I later found out, was the lowest of any AP voter. While some Florida fans are viewing Saturday’s performance as a sign of their defense’s return to dominance — what did they expect against such a young and suspect offense? My concerns with the Gators’ offense remain the same. For all this talk about Urban Meyer’s stockpile of weapons, at the end of the day, Florida once again relied almost entirely on Tebow and Percy Harvin to run the ball. It burned them against Georgia and Auburn last season, and it will burn them on a couple occasions this season if somebody else doesn’t step up soon.

SNL couldn’t disagree more with Stewie’s conclusion of the Gator’s 2008 team, but has to admit that unless and until Florida puts together an explosive and well-balanced offensive performance against a meaningful opponent, Mandel’s poorly crafted perception will be the norm rather than the exception.

-So Sayeth the Shepherd