THE DEATH OF A RIVAL AND UF’S 2008 HOROSCOPE

  As one might imagine, if one were allowed to imagine football by one’s significant other, the UT chatboards are literally overflowing with calls for Fulmer’s resignation and at least one man has been arrested for setting his home afire in a poorly thought out (and doubtless whiskey-fueled) attempt to burn Fulmer in effigy.  SNL knows that the more calous among you, whose antipathy toward Gator opponents is embedded so deeply in your reptilian  brain you are incapable of even considering the lamentations of opposing fans, will probably lagh at this man’s misfortune which doubtless arose from his decision to use a life-size effigy.  

While this is a logical deduction, SNL has chosen a higher, and therefore morally superior, road and chooses instead to mourn for the loss of the Gators now former rival, the Volunteers, which have been vanquished in Vandy-ish fashion for 4 years running. 

For the lifelong Gator fan, the “noise in the system” in Knoxville is eerily similar to the cacophonous clamoring for Zook’s head after Ole Miss handled the Gators in The Swamp in 2004.  Let there be no doubt, Fulmer is already “constructively terminated” following Saturday’s humiliation, which included a number of gaffes that seem to epitomize that satire that “Fool-mer” has become in Tennessee.  According to my blogging idol, Dr. Saturday, the national pundits seem to agree:

Gary Parrish says Fulmer’s ship is going down, Andy Staples wonders if we watched the end of an era, Mike Bianchi writes Florida probably just got Fulmer fired and even terribly-toupeéd New Yorker Dick Weiss thinks the Vols are out of touch with reality. Good luck on the Plains, coach!

Think about it, how exciting will it be to beat UT next year in The Swamp with Fulmer at the helm as a 2-touchdown favorite?  Will any Gator-backers be giddy with excitement in the week before the matchup?  Will there be fear?  Anticipation?  And ultimately, will Gator-fans experience the visceral endorphin-laced high that used to accompany a victory over the Vols?  Nope.  And, while there is certainly a plausible basis for Gator fans to hope Fulmer coaches out his ridiculously long contract at UT, the fate of this once bitter-rivalry will fade further from the national consciousness with each successive year.  So, as the cliche’ goes, careful what you wish for Gators-at least Vandy is ranked!

ERSTWHILE, IN THE HALLS OF JUSTICE…

  In yesterday’s post, SNL alluded to seeming inability of the Gator offense to find offensive synchronicity early in the 2008 season.  For the feeble-minded, Saturday’s showing did little to assuage the notion that the Gators will be upended when SEC heavywights, LSU and Georgia come calling absent the surfacing of the offensive nirvana was supposed to be this team’s modus operandi. 

Upon further review of Saturday’s game, however, SNL is beginning to believe that reliance on Gator offensive woes to support your position that Florida will get its “comeuppance” when LSU comes to the Swamp is not only misplaced, but is a wooden interpretation of Saturday’s game.  Let SNL ’splain this to you:

First, you should know that Florida punted once Saturday-as in, UT successfully forced Florida’s offense from the field without scoring on 1 occasion.  Here’s a summation of Florida’s offensive possessions for those of you who played grabass with the token “tipsy-hottie” at the UF/UT party you attended:  Touchdown • Field Goal • Field Goal • Punt • Touchdown • Field Goal • Kneel down. Feel better now?

The other ingredient present in the cocktail of mediocrity that Florida’s offense wasn’t on Saturday was a 17-0 lead at the end of the 1st quarter, and Brandon James nearly 200 return yards.  In other words, this game became one of field position and grinding the clock after less than a quarter.  As a result, Tebow passed for less than 100 yards while Florida’s running backs amassed almost 150 rushing and averaged 5 yards per carry.  The offensive line and Moody showed up in a big way and the Gators are, despite the lack of E-SPIN worthy highlights, passing each test with fliying colors albeit in a manner that none of the faithful saw coming. 

Florida’s defense, conversely, continues to impress-making it more difficult each week for Mr. “Florida has no interior lineman” to mount a cogent argument.  This week, UT’s behmoth O-line, touted as the best in the league coming in to the year, got little push against the active octuplets roaming the line of scrimmage for Florida. In  fact, by day’s end, UT’s trio of Backs had managed less than 3 ypc and only 60 (or so) total rushing yards.

Naturally, it is difficult to say with certainty that the hallmark of this young Gator team today, defense/turnovers/special teams, will remain static from week to week.  However, as long as Coach Meyer is driving the bus, the preparation and heart of this group of nascent Gators will remain unquestioned.

-So Sayeth the Shepherd