FSU, UM, AND THIS WEEK’S SEC GAME OF THE YEAR OF THE WEEK

 To the introspective (and impartial) observer, the ‘Noles of the last eight years are similar to the aged-starlet who is no longer capable of inspiring the hormone-filled urges of the adolescent males whose walls she once adorned-still refuses to accept anything less than the leading role in the high-budget romantic comedy, even though the producer wanted her to play the wacky aunt. 

Progressing with this metaphor, FSU, like the aged starlet,  has at various times in during its decline from relevance, awakened the ghosts of  past by staging some titillating performances against less attractive competition.  These performances have imbued in some a belief that FSU will  again illuminate the silver screen of college football with its sexy image-which includes the hot cowgirls and the silly horse and spear act.  However, in each instance (at least during the past 8 years or so), the unsubstantiated hopes of FSU and its fans have faded on the heels of the arrival of the A-list starlets who, after revealing to ‘Nole backers the inadequacy of their once mighty program, leave in their wake a jaded and despondent fan base desperately seeking a spiritual understanding of what has to be god’s wrath.    

This year appears no different as Ponder, who displaced dependable but mediocre 5th-year Senior, Weatherford, as FSU’s starter was 6 of 18 for 52 yards on Saturday with 3 interceptions for good measure (which is 3 interceptions more than Florida has thrown all year).  Nor was there any relief in sight as Ponder’s backup, Richardson, was content to match Ponder by going 6 for 18 for 66 yards, with 2 interceptions.  The ineffectiveness of the ‘Nole QB’s, is enough for the ‘Nole backers to at least question the reluctance to play Weatherford, whose failure to appear can be construed as nothing other than an indictment of the Coaches belief in his ability to play at this point.

SNL’s not-so-bold prediction:  The undefeated Colorado Buffaloes deliver a performance that renders the aged-starlet that is FSU’s football program less relevant than Valerie Bertinelli outside the confines of Tally this Saturday.  By Monday, the only attention garnered by the tight gold pants of the ‘Noles will be the unwanted advances of drunken skank who will settle for anything dressed “shinily.”

And, gloating and short-sighted Gator-fan, this is not a good thing for Florida as this once thriving rivalry is destined to become more of an afterthought than it is already unless FSU can find some semblance of its former self over the course of this season.  Anyone know a good plastic surgeon?

  In case you hadn’t noticed, UM rebounded from the Florida loss nicely by routing (an admittedly horrible) Texas A & M team last weekend.  In so doing, the Baby ‘Canes racked up 400 yards of offense and looked more or less like a team that is officially on the rise.  This should thrill UM’s “Cosmopolitan” fan base, most of whom were shopping for chrome-plated car accessories during the game.  Kidding aside, the ‘Canes have a shot at the ACC (who doesn’t) this year, which bodes well for the Gators in a year when the ‘Noles and UT are both likely to be at or near .500 when the final bell sounds on the 2008 season.

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

 

Without looking, SNL knows that the Big 12, Pac-10, and Big 10 have not a game on tap this weekend that will intrigue the average viewer.  Fortunately, at least for those who prefer football to latte’ and hiking (at least on Saturday’s), the SEC has again provided a contest that should rival Galdiator for indiscriminate violence and bloodletting, Georgia v. Alabama. 

While SNL has yet to break this game down, it has seen enough of these two teams to know that both are seriously loaded.  Early thoughts are tha Alabama’s DT’s will make life difficult for Knowshon and Senior QB, John Parker-Wilson, should be able to manage the game well enough to keep ‘Bama within the Vegas number, which has UGA favored by between 6 and 8.  More on this later….