FOR THE WATER COOLER…

    SNL recognizes that there exists somewhere a group of Gator fans who, whether by nature, nurture, or prescription drugs, are able to find the proverbial “silver lining” following a home loss to a 23-point underdog.  Each of us knows one these eternally (and frustratingly) optimistic types, always quoting the latest inspirational message from a book or seminar on “10 ways to influence people,” or “How to make friends for life in 5 minutes.” 

SNL, prone to philanthropy, writes this post in honor of this opiated group of Urban Kool-aid drinkers, who have likely gotten over Saturday’s loss and moved on while the rest have continued to openly lament the Gators’ woes.

The chart on the above right is Dr. Saturday’s “wasted yards” compilation.  The concept, ingenious in its simplicity, is essentially a way of parsing the statistics to determine which team “wasted” the most yards and to what effect.

As you can see, Florida outgained the Rebs by 100+ yards (take away 2 plays, and the number become 220 yards), and nearly tripled the Rebs in 1st Downs.  Florida, however, racked up 167 “wasted” yards to Ole Miss’ 15.  What this means is that Ole Miss’ offense was “feast or famine,” racking up 8 “3 and outs,” but scoring on almost every possession in which they gained a first down. 

Florda, conversely, while vastly more consistent, left points all over the field-a blown 4th down in Ole Miss territory in the 1st Quarter, settling for a field goal in the red zone, a fumble in Reb territory in the second, a punt from the Ole Miss 40 in the 4th, an extra missed point and the infamous 4th and 1 failure.  Not to mention the lost fumbles in the 3rd Quarter.

Sure, there are those among you that continue to believe that the Gator offense couldn’t be worse if Congress was calling the plays, and there is ample evidence to support your position.  However, Mr. “The SEC and National titles are still on the table,” and Mrs. “We lost in 2006 too, and look how that turned out,” can spin the nearly unparalleled ineptitude displayed in The Swamp last Saturday their way too.  Chiefly by pointing out that fumbling and blocked PAT’s are almost always cyclical and like hurricanes, tornados, and lightning, seldom strike the same place (or team) twice, at least to the extent we saw last week. 

 In other words, if even 1 of Florida’s miscues last week does no occur, Florida wins, albeit by a margin much smaller than the 23-point spread.  Now, before you go getting all giddy like a sugared up pre-adolescent, bear in mind that margin for error is significantly decreased against the LSU’s and Georgia’s of the world and therefore, a modest improvement will not stave off a 2nd or 3rd loss in the weeks to come-not with this defense.  For today anyway, this will have to do because, after all, the goals of the Gators, and their fans, are all  “still on the table.”

-So Sayeth the Shepherd