WEDNESDAY: CONTINUING TO RIDE THE COPASCETIC EXPRESS

Its Wednesday and all remain well in Gainesville.  In fact, things are so blissful in Gatorville that the arrest, incarceration, and expulsion of Gator DB, Rickerson, made not the slightest dent in the copascetic wave the Gators are surfing about now.

Obviously, Weddnesday’s slate of MAC games is interesting to no one outside of the involved parties, except my boy Chap, who would gamble on badminton if that was all there was on TV. 

So, in what has become a game week ritual, SNL scoured the web for Vandy blogs/websites last night, vainly hoping that this would ameliorate (look it up fools!) the post-UGA malaise. 

As you might expect from a school that managed to lose at home to Duke, the Vandy football program has inspired 1 sports blog (as far as SNL is able to discern anyway).  You can check it out http://www.vanderbiltsportsline.com/. (Wordpress link page giving me trouble).

The blog is hosted by a Vandy law student, and more empathetic SNL could not be.  Keeping with the quid pro quo, the admittedly small contingent of Commie fans that a) believe a Vandy win is possible, and/or b) care even the slightest about Vandy football, are apparently putting together a thinly veiled argument for victory predicated on a UF let down.  To bolster this wistful propostion, the blog  cites Vandy’s numerous close calls against UF over the years.

The problem with this is that Vandy is dead last in nearly every offensive category that matters.  Under normal circumstances, you know, when the opposition following a huge emotional victory is plausibly capable of completing a pass or 2, this week’s game would fall into the “trap” category.  This is chiefly because SNL believes that all but the most dominant defenses require some emotion to play at a high level.   In an emotionless game, therefore, defenses that like UF’s, are very good (and potentially dominant), but not overwhelming, often play down to the competition. 

As you’ve doubtless deduced, this general maxim is essentially rendered inapplicable here by virtue of Vandy’s horrible, anemic, putrid, uninventive, ineffective, muddling, rudimentary, inept, and altogether awful (get the point) offense.  Throw in for good measure that UF’s offense will score at least 31 points, and the only viable deduction is that Vandy is going to get beat, and very badly. 

True, its a night game-but let’s face it, this game could be played at midnight on homecoming weekend and it wouldn’t make a difference.  UF will have no problem playing through the midly disturbing noise of 40,000 intellectuals with sweaters tied around their necks. 

For those who wish to liken this game to the Ole Miss game, or Vandy fans who believe that UF is beatable by virtue of the Ole Miss loss, fuhget about it…  The Ole Miss loss is the reason Vandy has no chance, not the other way around.  Remember Tim’s promise Gator fans?  If it were made by anyone other than the god-fearing, heroic, quixotic, dashing, and rugged (all at once!) face of the Gators, we would laugh it off.  But when Tebow talks, people listen. So listen up Commies!!!!!

Florida, 37-10.  Easy, peazy, Japanesy. 

-So Sayeth the Shepherd