THURSDAY’S GAMES: INVESTMENT ROULETTE IN THE ACC

For comparative purposes, please find Baby Mangino and Daddy Mangino below.  After taking a moment to review and reflect, we can move on to tonights BCS matchups.

Rock, Chalk, Jayhawk!!

  Sorry for the indulgence.  Now, moving along:

Maryland (+3.5) at V. Tech:  This game gets me “right there” (for those who aren’t here, which is everyone except mi wife’s obese cat, “Dixie”), SNL is patting himself in the area that approximates his heart.  Why this unleashing of emotion at the thought of a Thursday night game between 2 completely schizophroenic teams?  Becasue the only true-to-life, honest-to-god, eye-talian mobster I know (he claims he’s in the “construction” business), Vincenzo “Hands” Randazzo,  is a V. Tech fan. 

For those of you new to the site, Vinnie’s nickname is “Hands” because he prefers whacking guys manually to using bullets (allegedly).  Like all sociopaths, Vinnie is also gregarious when he’s not busy killing you, and SNL believes he is currently among those still living who consider themselves Vinnie’s friend.  Naturally, 30 seconds with Vinnie’s meat hooks around SNL’s throat may change this, but SNL digresses.

For its part, the Terps come in with a 2 game win streak, drubbing Wake Forest and following it up with a Terp-esque near loss to NC State (27-24).  Nor was the NC State game misleading from a statistical standpoint as the Wolfpack gained only 20 yards less than the Terps and the game was tied at 24 until Maryland connected on a field goal with :06 on the clock. 

The Terps are the Brittany Spears of College Football-they suffer erratic mood swings, look hot one night and wind up on TMZ the next day looking like a beatdown biker-skank.  They have yet to shave their collective heads to avoid giving hair samples in a pending custody dispute, but SNL still says the analogy sticks.

Since ascending to what appeared to be an unassailable lead in the division only 2 weeks ago, the Hokies have lost to BC and FSU on the road.  They now find themselves at home, on Thursday night, where they are 14-3 since 1995.  However, for the first time during that span, the Hokies enter the contest without their top 2 QB’s, which means that Sr. backup, Tory Holt, will get his first start tonight.

SNL personally will not touch this game, due to both the unpredictability of this league, and the spectre of Vinnie’s meathooks on my throat, the points may be the way to go tonight. 

TCU (-2) v. Utah:  Good Defenses, real good.  TCU hasn’t allowed more than 14 points to anyone outside of Norman, Oklahoma, and the Utes are might saltier than their Mormon brethren.  Conventional wisdom says take the home dog on Thursday, the eyeball test says take the Horny Toads.  SNL yas if you take either check yourself into the nearest GA meeting and consult a bankruptcy attorney. 

-So Sayeth the Shepherd