SATURDAY’S PICKS: BACK IN THE GAME

3-2 last week, pushing the overall ATS record to 10 games over .500.  Not good enough to guarantee the wife a pair of those f***ing diamond earring that keep “popping up” in her f***ing Madamoiselle and Vogue mags, but good enough to keep vig off my tuckas.
First last night’s highlight reel-don’t worry its onle a few secs in duration.  The remainder of the game was about like watching unattractive drunk chicks fistfight at Mango’s-which is a metaphor for abject offensive futility without the potential for hot girls topless. 

 
The trouble with this week is that its quiet.  No viable upsets on the horizon and no marquee games betwwen ranked opponents.  Come to think of it, this whole weekend is likely to be like watching drunk chicks fight.  Even so, SNL never met a CFB board that didn’t present opportunities to make a return on equity, even though he has and does often miss the “opportunities.”  Moving on…
Wake Forest v. NCSU (+3.5/42):  Riley Skinner, Wake’s Senior QB, is more or less competent, and at times, even skilled in the passing game.  NCSU, has become a balanced club and continues to improve, beating Duke on the road last week after narrowly losing to Maryland and Florida State during the preceding 2 weeks.  SNL likes the evenly matched clubs here to score more than 42 points, but not much more.  Warning:  This game, like every ACC game, would be better if viewed via time-lapse videography. 
Vandy at Kentucky (-4):  Kentucky reminds me of a neighborhood kid that SNL often beat upon, we’ll call him Chip.   Chip was irritating.  Chip was loud.  Chip was stupid.  Chip was also the eighth kid-which meant we needed Chip for 4 on 4 basketball and football games-so we couldn’t get rid of him.  Chip also was tenacious-so tenacious, in fact, that you often tired of beating him before he gave up, and he would get in a blow or 2 toward the end. 
Vandy is like a girl that lived next door to SNL during his elementary days, we’ll call her Mary.  Mary couldn’t throw.  Mary couldn’t run. 
Since Chip could have whipped Mary, Kentucky will whip Vandy.  Brilliant!! Give the points.
Texas (-13/67o) at Kansas:  Poor Texas. The Horns hooked their way past the Sooners but seem to be the odd man out in the silly-strong Big 12 South irrespective of the outcome of the T/’OU game next week.  This probably pisses Texas off-alot.  Mangina (this is a pun on the word angina perverts) will stroke- out after the ‘Horns hang 50+ on the Jayhawks.  Take UT and the Over-it will be delicious.
Cal v. Oregon St. (-3):  Still waiting for the dream matchup of the Beavers and ‘Cocks in a bowl game, but SNL digresses.  SNL hates USC.  Why is this relevant?  Because the Beavers kicked the crap out of the Trojans and Cal just got manhandled.  So the Beavers did SNL a solid wherease the so-called Golden Bears just threw a log on the “USC-is-the-best-team-at-the-end-of-the-year” fire. 
USC continues to greedily stockpile blue-chippers, but remains the 6th best team in CFB-on a good day.  The Beavers do me another solid and thump Cal as repayment for their weakness and to further lowes SC’s SOS.  Beavers score early and often!
-So Sayeth the Shepherd