Saturday’s Picks: So easy, a Caveman could do it.

Sorry for posting late, alzheimer’s walk (we miss you Dr. Robinson) and a trip to the “Super” Wal-Mart, which would be more “Super” if it weren’t frequented by (apparently) all of Gainesville’s indigent, smoking, tatt’d trailer park denizens, and their equal-but opposite in every way-counterparts (figure it out flock)-speaking of which, “Affliction Guy” is beginning to rival “Lift Kit” Guy for the biggest a**hole title.  Nothing says badass like an Affliction Hoodie and a menthol.

Moving on…12-4 ATS in last 16, and 24-14  (we think) YTD…we’re hot at SNL and we know it…

Utah St. (-1) v. La. Lafayetted:  Why?  This game isn’t on TV (at least not that we know of), and both teams more or less suck.  All the better my pretties, Utah St. can pass, and has covered for SNL twice already against good teams.  Ergo, we expect the…hell….not even sure what the mascot is…an injun’ of some sort?  In any event, its time for the Utah St. “whatchamafaces” to win one.  Utah St. -1.

Oklahoma (-7) at Kansas:  Big Game Bob and his beleaguered Sooners go to Kansas to play Todd “Reesing Peanut Butter Cup” and the rest of the Jayhawks, assuming of course that the Kansas Hoops team hasn’t kicked the crap out of the whole lot of ‘em.  SNL has watched Kansas several times this year and can’t get over how many white dudes are on this team.  SNL still isn’t convinced that the Jayhawks recruited most of their players at the Republican Convention.  Oklahoma is sooooooo pissed, and loaded with legitimate, D-1 talent…the Sooners may actually kill (yes, kill, as in dead) Reesing today.  Oklahoma -7.

Idaho (+16) at Nevada:  Another lo-fi affair between two teams taht nobody cares about.  So sue me already!   You can follow it on the Sportline ticker.  Idaho can score and for those feeble-minded sorts who employ transitive logic to make their picks:  Idaho beat Colorado St. by 2, and Nevada lost to Colorado St. by 15.  Idaho +16. 

Iowa (+1.5) at Sparty:  Wrong team favored.  This one’s easy.

South Caroloina (-13) v. Vandy:  We explained last week how Vandy was the miracle tonic for what ails (fill in your team) at this time.  “Put some Vandy on that there wound boy!  It’ll get better real quick!”  This week, Spurrier’s Cocks will heal their sores with the miracle that is Vandy football.  The good news for Vandy is that most alumni and students are so cerebral that they don’t recognize anything (football included) that doesn’t involve Equine, Bordeaux, or Cigars as a viable pastime.  Sucks for them.  Cocks -13.

-So Sayeth the Shepherd