LeBron tells America: “I’m no Jordan!”

                                                  

The LeBron debacle has, thankfully, ended, though the E-SPIN heads and other pundits continue to dissect Bron’s decision and its impact on basketball.  Interestingly, the chorus of Bron commentators has been largely critical of not only his decision, but his megalomaniacal television special.  We’re joining the in-crowd, at least for today.   

Chief among the small but vociferous cadre of Bron apologists, however, has been none other that Stephen A. Smith, whose quasi-ghetto rants have somehow been parlayed into the fabric of our societal malaise despite their obvious irrelevance.  (Naturally, Stephen A.’s merits are not the subject of this post, but suffice it to say that we here at SNL question on a very deep level his “cred” as an analyst or talk show host.  Bring back the Czabe for the love of god!) 

The crux of Stephen A.’s poorly grounded position seems to be that Bron is tired of carrying his team on his shoulders and incapable of single-handedly dethroning the Eastern Conference powers.  And, that Bron deserves better than what he’s received in C-town.  Really?  (A more well-reasoned pro-Bron position was espoused by Colin Cowherd, and can be distilled into the following components:  no state income taxes, money, girls, climate, and South Beach.)  

It goes without saying that the bulk of the pavlovian Bron supporters (which is anyone who wasted an hour of their life watching Bron tell us he’s taking his Greg Oden-ish beard to South Beach) will ask who the hell we are to even voice an opinion.  Well, we are who we think we are!  Guys who host a blog and therefore, can say whatever the hell we want.  And here’s what we want to say: 

Air Jordan is the biggest benefactor of Bron’s decision to duck the tough fight ahead in C-town and instead run into the warm embrace of the mini-Dream Team being assembled in Miami (Kobe is getting some nice residuals too).  The reason for this is obvious.  Ever since Jordan hung up the Nikes of the basketball variety, we have been waiting for the next Jordan.  To date, we’ve had 2 candidates for the throne, Kobe and ‘Bron.  Kobe, for his part, has shown grit, determination, and the sort of deadly calm in the clutch that at a minimum puts him in the conversation, and he’s got the rings to prove it.  Bron has not. 

And, by virtue of Bron’s decision to run to Dwyane’s team, the opportunity to escalate into the discussion has been forever lost.  True, Miami may win titles they may even go down as one of the best teams ever.  But Bron has essentially foreclosed any opportunity he had to prove that he is the next Jordan, capable of delivering a title to a team loaded with role players like Paxton, Hodges, Perdue and Wennington.  Possessed with the indefatigable spirit and fierce competitiveness that hallmark the best of the best. 

Instead, ‘Bron is going to win with arguably the third-best player in the league and sure fire hall of famer in Wade, and a second perennial all-star and likely hall of famer (at least if the heat win titles) in Bosh.  

Who takes the shot in the final seconds for the heat?  Wade. 

So it seems that Bron has relegated himself to a supreme physical force, capable of wowing the crowds with amazing blocks and dunks; powerful, graceful, and at times amazing.  He’s 25, a millionaire over and over, and probably has the greatest life of any of god’s creatures about now, despite his curiously old-mannish beard.  He’s still a hall of famer and will be remembered as one of the greatest, but not the greatest.  Put another way, Bron is no Jordan.  In fact, he’s not even Kobe. 

-So Sayeth the Shepherd