BCS

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cowbellBefore getting into an overly in-depth diatribe about why Gator fans should relax and stop worrying about Alabama (who is not on Florida’s schedule when last SNL checked), we at SNL would like to remind you that we were 4-0 last week ATS.  Naturally, we hid our boyish glee when visiting Vinnie and the boys in the back of Sal’s yesterday to collect our dough, but that’s because we’re scared of him, and not you (except for the ‘Bama fan who has been threatening to kill SNL and his family for the last couple of weeks). 

Moving on…the spin-doctors have been overtime since Florida’s narrow win as if the Arkansas game existed in a vacuum and is therefore the sole piece of relevant evidence available to predict how Florida’s season will end.  For most of the national heads (and some local), Florida’s bloody demise will occur at the hands of the Birmingham shock troops led by Nick Saban, which seems reasonable based on the available resume of both teams to date.  The more pedestrian analysts have trumpeted this mundane argument with little more than a ”scoreboard” thesis, noting that ‘Bama drummed Arkansas by 28 whereas Florida escaped with a 3-point win.  We here at SNL find this juvenile attempt to employ the transitive properties of victories and losses to be entertaining in the way that circus monkeys are entertaining, funny for a minute or two, but lacking the depth needed to keep asses in the seats. 

The smaller-and arguably less well-reasoned-camp maintains that Florida’s come from behind victory over the is signature win that St. Tim of Tebow needed to re-focus this team, the one shining moment we will all look back on when Florida hoists the BCS trophy for the second time in a row and third time in four years this January.   The logic of this argument too lacks any real presumptive force, and not just because it is largely espoused by ex-Gator players on local airwaves-most of whom peaked vocationally when they were gifted….errr…..”earned” their physical education degree from UF, but because the “miracle” win can more easily be construed as an indictment of Florida’s offense and defense.  The offensive woes are tolerable and all, SNL included, unapologetically believed before last Saturday that as long as St. Tebow and Pope Urban remained breathing, the offense would round into form at some point.  The defense was another story, it was our heart, where we Gators pointed when opposing fan bases derided this year’s team.  This is a little harder to do after the hyped Gator D gave up 188 yards in 3 possessions after taking a 13-10 lead last Saturday.  As above, Florida was missing some bodies on the line, but this year’s D continues tro be a very-good-but-far-from-dominant unit.  This is primarily due to the difficulty Florida has had with power runners fielded by Arkansas and Tennessee, which makes Ingram seem more frightening than Vinnie, but only slightly. 

The truth, as SNL told you on Saturday, was that Arkansas is much improved since their beatdown at ‘Bama, and Florida was lacking bodies on the D-Line and largely unfocused after winning a nationally telecasted game in Baton Rouge against a top-10 opponent.  It is therefore ridiculous to suggest that this year’s version of the Gators cannot, under any circumstances, beat ‘Bama.  Should Florida be favored over ‘Bama if the game was played this week?  Probably not.  Thankfully, we don’t have to worry about that yet. 

Dis and Dat…The Noles take their low-flying circus on the road to visit former Warden of Da’ U,  Butch Davis.  We haven’t capped this game yet, but we plant to.  Layla Kiffin’s effeminate hubby is still taking shots at Meyer, though their getting slightly more veiled.  This time, Layla’s boy-toy has gone out of his way to tell all within earshot that ‘Bama is clearly better than Florida.  Presumably, this assertion comes from Kiffin’s review of film?  Irrespective, Kiffin is still the crown-prince of a losing program and better still, Florida fans can openly root for ‘Bama to crush Kiffin’s Vols this week, since the Gators will get their shot at the Tide later.  And, Colin Cowherd, one of E-SPIN’s better radio personalities, just opined that the refs gave Florida the win last week.   Based on time remaining, down and distance, and other objective factors-like Tebow on the field-this opsition seems a little off-base, but keep winning and no one will remember either way.  Terrelle Pryor is taking heat from the Buckeye fan bas and quite frankly, looking more and more like an NFL receiver…

Next…Thursday’s pick and Layla Kiffin’s Husband’s dream come true, a scathing rebuke of his continued “ass-ness” by a blooger-this blogger in fact.   

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: ATS, Bama, BCS, Darth Saban, Degenerate Gambler, DEGENERATES, Layla Kiffin, SEC, Urban Meyer, Vols

Ark

No one likes a braggart, but SNL is moving squarely into the realm Nostradamus, 2-0 so far and up 31-points (ATS) with Arkansas.  Posted ad nauseum about this game earlier in the week, and with Spikes out, this game is going down to the wire.  Look for ‘Bama to struggle too, so Meyer just needs to win and move on. 

Elsewhere, the Buckeyes go down to Purdue as 2-touchdown road favorites, Oklahoma loses in a tough way, and USC is on its way to snuffing out Notre Dame’s last gasp for respectability.  A collective “phew” can be heard if you listen carefully.  We’ll be back, but hope the flock is enjoying the returns on equity.

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

Saturday’s Picks (7-4 last week ATS).  It’s a long year, but we fell we are hitting our stride, with two winning weeks in a row.  Too many games last week, so SNL has narrowed it down to a sexy quartet that’s sure to please.

Texas (-3.5/55) v. Okie:  As usual, there are some compelling story lines here, including but  not limited to the return of Bradford, Colt McCoy’s lost mustache, and Oklahoma’s chance to resuscitate its struggling brand.  However, for “investment” purposes, the only storyline that matters today is D-E-F-E-N-S-E, as in two of the top 16 units in the country on the field in a highly competitive, emotionally charged atmosphere. 

We root for Florida here, and couldn’t care less which outfit walks out of Dallas with a W, but we enjoy harnessing the hard work and dedication of young college football players into cold, hard cash.  No way these two teams hit this number.  Under 55 is the pick.

UGA (-7) at Vandy:  This game reminds us of Chris Rock’s “Tussin Skit,”  you know, the one where Rock recites how his father believed (Robi) “Tussin” could cure all ailments (it was Balmex and Alka Seltzer in our house), including crush fractures of the tibia and heart attacks. 

Well, Vandy is the “Tussin” of the CFB world, whatever aisl you, Vandy can fix it.  Sure, UGA is under assault from its own fan base and coming off a blowout to Layla Kiffin’s husband, but it’s nothing a little ‘Tussin…err……Vanderbilt can’t fix.  Vandy is horrible on offense, defense, and apparently, believes the forward pass is akin to sorcery.  UGA gets well today, bu a long shot.  This on e will be over by halftime.  Georgia -7.5 (buy the hook if you’re frought with trepidation, but no need, this is a double-digit win). 

Our-Kansas (+24) v. Florida:  Our beloved Gators, defenders of the Crown and home to CFB’s resident rock-star, Tebow take to the field today to play the pass happy Razorbacks.  The spread, presumably, is predicated on the “Flori-Bama” effect gripping the nation.  Ergo, ‘Bama beat Arkie by 28, so Florida should too.  Right?

Wrong.  Arkie is better now than t was then, and Florida is missing some bodies in the D-Line.  Florida is still the best red zone defense in the Country, and the Hawgs will struggle to find the end zone.  But they’ll get to the red zone plenty.  Florida wins 31-14, but doesn’t cover.  Arkansas +24.

USC (+18.5) v. ‘Bama:  ‘Bama and its diminutive-in-stature-but-ferocious-in-demeanor Coach, Saban, are CFB’s verion of the 2007 Giants.  In other words, the physicality of ‘Bama football is a force to behold, so much so that SNL winces on the couch every time the ball is snapped and ‘Bama’s defense is on the field.  That said the OBC has right fine defense too, and just enough offense to stay on the field with the Herculean Bama’ans.  USC +18-maybe a nail biter, but we’ll get it done.

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: ATS, Degenerate Gambler, Layla Kiffin, Meyer, Pope Meyer, Tebow

  Wife is at the movies and junior is napping, so let’s get to it.

Wisconsin (+16/47u) at The Vest: 

for the Vest, this game is like looking in one of those mirrors that makes you look ten pounds heavier, with Wisconsin being roughly the same team-philosophically speaking-as the Buckeyes are under the Vest’s stewardship .  So, the Vest should be in his comfort zone today when the cornfed Badgers roll into town.  Slothful of feet are those Badgers, and with only a mediocre passing attack, The Vest is the cerebral equal of his opponent for a change.  That said this number is little too high or put another way, Wisconsin isn’t that much fatter than OSU.  Take the generous points here and throw a bone on the under while you’re at it.  

Georgia Tech (+3) at FSU:  A week of turmoil for the ’Noles, who just can’t seem to run off Bowden-like the criminals at AIG, he’s just “too big” to fail.  The good nes for the ’Noles is that for 3.5 hours or so, they can stop hearing about how much they suck, which is considerable.  The bad news, the Yellow Jackets are technically sound and appear to be hitting their stride, and Bowden is still the Coach.  Wrong team favored, FSU implodes on itself like a dying star tonight.  GT +3.

Ole Miss (+5.5) v. ‘Bama:  Like his taller sibling, Meyer, Saban is a bit of a pill, a control freak who cannot relax and would refuse to sign your son’s hat if you saw him at a restaurant.  Also like Meyer, Saban is goood, real gooooooooooooood…  Nutt, conversely, seems like a fun guy parading around in his brim hat a la Greg Norman.  As for the X’s and O’s, Nutt’s D is salty and they have something to prove today, while ‘Bama just needs to win.  SNL loves getting the points at home and will also lay a little on the under.  Shop this one around because the line is between 4 and 5.5 depending on where you’re buying. 

Smaller plays:

Michigan/Iowa over 47

CSU (+9) over Utah

UCLA (+4) over Oregon

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

 

Tags: ACC, ATS, Darth Saban, Degenerate Gamblers, SEC, Urban

  The picture says it all doesn’t it?  Fresh of Pope Urban’s National Title Run in 2006, upstart Florida and its Quixotic leader invade Death Valley and storm to lead, only to lose at the proverbial buzzer.  Pope Urban cries at the press conference, and the Gators cry with him (at least metaphorically).

This week is different right?  Florida takes to Death Valley with the best defense in CFB (statistically speaking), and it’s Quixotic leader is all growed up and if the internet is accurate-which it always is-100% healthy for tonights matchup.  Still, we would be wise to remember the pain of 2007, and fear our enemy, who is formidable.

LSU this year looks alot like the kid who leaves for summer vacation weighing 165 lbs. and returns in the fall weighing 215.  He’s imposing, but still growing into his new frame, and you just know that once hge does, you’ve got a problem.  LSU’s athletes are as good as any, and once they grow into themselves, this team will be nigh unstoppable.  Problem is, this may not occur until next year.

Moving on…

The E-SPIN heads are unified in their belief that Tebow shouldn’t start tonight and SNL is imagining the spin doctors for Pope Urban’s regime are even now readying their own PAR campaign becuase reports are that #15 will start tonight for the Gators.  SNL can tell the flock this:  As a lawyer, SNL relies on experts for their opinions on medical issues because lawyers don’t know sh** about medicine.  As such, the presumptive force of the opinion of the E-SPIN heads is roughly nil.  Put another way, a bachelor’s degree in housing from Ohio State does not lay the foundation for opining on medical issues.  (This goes for you too Rocket, and its pronounced am-big-you-ity, not am-big-wit-y). 

The Pope and the Chosen one are close like family, and UF has brought to bear some of the world’s finest physicians to look after St. Tim of Tebow.  So if her plays, we can all be sure that every precaution has been taken.

Now Let’s make some money….

BC (+14) at Vtech:  As always, there is a self-preservation element to picking against VTU.  This is because SNL’s preferred investment broker, Vinnie “Hands” Moresci, is a VTU fan.  If you’re thinking that there’s not alot of burly eye-talians pulling for the Hokies, you’d be right.  But SNL has found one, and he is not a man to be trifled with.  Still, when it comes to picking games, SNL will take two touchdowns with the godd Irish-Catholics of BC, who should keep this game within the number by playing solid, blue-collared football.  BC +14 (buy the hook if you’re getting 1`3.5).

Our-Kansas (+3) v. Auburn:  After a long off-season being over-shadowed by Layla’s boy-toy, Auburn’s regime exacted some revenge in Knoxville and finds itself ranked in the top-25.  This game will be a test of wills, and the scoreboard operator will be gassed by halftime.  SNL likes the home doggie and may chuck a little toward the over too. 

Late games will follow

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

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