E-SPIN

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About this time last year, the Gator Nation was basking the warm glow brought about by the return of their quixotic QB and nearly everyone else from their Championship team.  Bolstered by predictions of a second consecutive championship (or at least a spot in the BCSCG) by everyone from Athlon’s and Steele to Mandel, there were actually boosters of the Bull-Gator variety booking rooms in Pasadena in August 2009. 

Then came the season, which judging by the number of columns asking what was “wrong” with Florida’s offense and the legions of fans voicing their displeasure with the “3-yards-but-occasionally-40-and-a-cloud-of-dust” playbook, was pure drudgery.  Meyer’s clipped tone following the victory over the Vols was merely the beginning of what would be an unending string of games that found the Florida staff  at a loss to explain wins. 

It should be noted that Florida’s schedule last year contributed mightily to the discontent of the Gator allegiant.  Within weeks, the Vols lost to what turned out to be a horrible UCLA team at home, UGA lost to Okie St., and LSU struggled mightily against nobody.  In typical fashion, the ‘Noles did their part by fielding the worst defense this side of Bethune-Cookman and losing their star QB weeks before the Gators came to town.  Put another way, the regular season schedule stunk, at least on paper.   As it turned out, only Arkansas (with questionable calls and a last minute comeback) and UGA provided any relief to the fretting Gator Nation in 2009, but if candor is among your attributes, Gator fan, you’ll admit that last year was all about one game, the rematch with ‘Bama.

Irrespective, there wasn’t a game on the schedule that the Gators weren’t supposed to win handily (the lowest point-spread of the year was Florida by 6.5-over Bama!), and the resulting mindset of the Gator Nation was that there was but one way win; destroy everyone.  Candidly, the pyrotechnic display Florida put on during the latter half of 2008 made this seem like a reasonable request at the time.  The realit was, however, quite different.

And, we all know how this ended-with our stud DE receiving a DUI for sleeping at a red light (allegedly) after attending a party with pretty much the entire team, followed by a sound beating at the hands of Darth Saban’s shock troops and teary-eyed Tebow on every flat screen in the Country.   Shortly thereafter, the Gator Nation was literally mouth agape for the better part of 2 weeks after learning that our seemingly impervious Coach was leaving for health reasons.  Looking back, it seems that the crushing weight of last season’s expectations was so tremendous, that it had a visceral effect on the usually stoic Coach Meyer.  And why wouldn’t it? 

For those among you who still doubt the accuracy of this post, please see Florida’s inability to sell out it’s Sugar Bowl ticket alotment as Exhibit “A,” and the muted exuberance of the Gator Nation following our bludgeoning of an undefeated Cincinatti as Exhibit “B.”  No storming of the streets, few parties, and little more than a “phew” followed by a wipe of your nervous brow when Florida took early control of the game.

What makes this painful chronology worth recounting is the fact both the local heads, such as Dolley and Ackerman, and the fans are far more intrigued by this year’s Gators than last year’s juggernaut and in turn, far more excited.  Admittedly, this is strange considering the Gator Nation’s obsessive love affair the St. Tim of Tebow and the chance to repeat as CFB Champions, but true nonetheless.   

Naturally, the holdovers from the Spurrier era will counter this position by alleging that it never gets tired beating your rivals by 40 points.  While there is some merit to this, context must be added to fully understand while this doesn’t remain true today.  First, Spurrier was a veritable Moses, leading Florida to the promised land after years of plague, drought and famine.  For those old enough to remember the 80’s, pre-Spurrier Florida football was best characterized by the hapless Buck Belue’s improbable connection with Lindsay Scott for a 90 yard touchdown pass in the last seconds of the annual Florida-Georgia tilt.  Bye the bye, this heart-breaking play came at a time when the forward pass was akin to “cheating” in the SEC.  Add to the mix the fact that the SEC was much deeper in the 90’s, with Alabama, Tennessee, Georgia, Auburn, and LSU fielding top-10 outifts on a near annual basis.  And bye the bye, this was the apex Florida State’s former empire too.  Under these circumstances, 10-years or so of vanquishing your highly-ranked rivals in dramatic fashion and reveling in the lamentations of their fans was a necessary and soothing balm for the Gator Nation.

Today, however, Florida is one of a handful of programs that comprise the nation’s elite and the once deep SEC has seen hard times fall on once proud regimes in Auburn, Tennessee, and Georgia, and to a lesser extent, LSU.  Furthermore, FSU is a mere shadow of its former self.  All of which makes it nice, for a change, to harbor a shred of doubt as we head into 2010. 

Distilled to its core, this season is one of slightly reduced expectations, combined with an improved schedule and a new cast of Gators.  For example, Florida’s game with ‘Bama will be the first game the Gators aren’t favored to win in 2 years.  Florida St. whould be much better and, if you believe the premonitions of Dooley and Heath Cline, South Carolina and Georgia could be better than advertised too.  In addition, while few will outwardly admit it, there is a desire to see the return of the high-octane spread attack that catapulted Coach Meyer to prominence and most, if not many, think Brantley will drastically change the look of this team  by filling the air with tight spirals.  All told, it seems that the Coaches, Players, media and fans like this team and even better, feel like the Gators might be able to surpirse a few folks this year. 

The moral of the story, if you care for such things, is that uncertainty and occasionally, fear, have returned in 2010, and brought their old friend, anticipation along with them.         

News and Notes…Alabama’s QB wrecking cyborg of BCSCG fame, Marcel Dareus is practicing while the NCAA looks into him taking his talents to South Beach this summer…SEC Commish, Mike Slive, tacitly concedes that he boozed a bit when Kiffin left town…USC makes a run at its own brawl-a-palooza…Florida’s Chris Rainey intimates that there may have been some prima donnas on last year’s squad….and the first USA Today Coaches poll ranks the Gators at #3, which is 9 spots above Pat Dooley’s pre-season ranking. 

Cleverly dubbed “Flori-Bama-geddon” by Dr. Saturday, the “game of the century of the year” is finally upon us.  What can we add to the cacophony of the well-coifed heads at E-SPIN and the other media outlets that hasn’t been said already?  Not much. 

The teams look roughly equal on paper and no one has much sense about what is going to happen in the ATL today.  The Gator plaudits, naturally, think Tebow is the difference between 2 teams that are otherwise symmetrical reciprocals of one another.  Maybe they’re right.  The ‘Bama loyalists, conversely, feel that Ingram and their defense, which is admittedly a frightening sight, will put them over the top.  And, for the most part, the E-SPIN heads have quit “Tiger Woods-ing” their hot interns just long enough to voice a consensus pick for Alabama. 

Since we at SNL are a small operation, incapable of matching blows with the marginally talented but highly overpaid heads yapping on cable, we’ll use this space to talk about something novel, perhaps even revolutionary:  Tim Tebow’s legacy and more specifically, how Tiger Woods has helped define it.  

What?  How?  Sit back flock, and have a listen. 

Tebow’s star has shone brightly since the day he signed with Florida and has brightened since, prompting Dr. Satuday to dub him “The Tebow Child” and countless others to promulgate some variation of the Tebow-is-Jesus-meme’.  The natural by-product of the “Tebow phenomenon,” of course, has been a smaller, but equally vociferous cadre’ of Tebow haters. 

This is easy enough to understand because it is the way of things.  For example, we at SNL have little more than a cursory interest in baseball, but will stop on occasion to root against the Yankees.  The difference, however, between the casual dislike of teams or individuals that are showered with adulation and the seemingly ubiquitous love for Florida’s quixotic QB is that Tebow has earned the right to be admired by us, the fans. 

How he has done this is perhaps best explained by the litany of athletes and other public figures who have parlayed their fame and fortune into a self-indulgent buffet wherein they are free to worry only about themselves, names such as Pitino, Burress, Irvin, Jordan, Barkley, Lewis, Ewing, Thomas, McNair, Huggins, everyone talking head at E-Spin, not to mention Letterman, countless politicians, CEO’s, and bankers.

Put another way, at every turn we are let down by people we admire, trust, and look up to; gambling, boozing, drugs, theft, adultery and the list goes on.  In general, the moral malaise of the privileged is a simple equation:  “I take what I want, without concern for others.”  The latest embodiment of this ubiquitous covenant of the famous is Tiger Woods, whose fall from grace has taken the world by surprise, but only because Tiger has been such an enigmatic figure outside of the golf world.  In the end, Tiger is just another person who has exploited his exalted status for personal gain without concern for those that would be damaged. 

This is the point where the cynics patronizingly tell us that “athletes are not role models” etc… While this may be true, it doesn’t mean that athletes can’t be role models, and it damn sure doesn’t mean that we don’t wish they were.  And every so often, they are. 

What separates Tebow from his peers and makes him such a transcendent figure is that we can count on him.  No, not to win every game or make every pass, but to make decisions according to a core set of values, values that we all aspire to, but don’t always live up to.  For those with young children, this is doubly true.   Sure it’s corny, cliche’ and wistful to hope want our heroes to be just that, but it’s who we are.  And, Tebow could, like Tiger, parlay his fame into a revolving door of beautiful co-eds, actresses, and other celebrities.  He could parlay his fame into a narcissistic world of self-gratification.  But he won’t. 

So today, whether you be a fan of the Tide, the Gators or neither, you should also be a fan of Tebow, he won’t let you down.  He never does.    

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

Phew…we at SNL have been running amok about the state of Florida this week.  Why you ask?  To bring you the very best in breaking CFB news and information?  Which you, loyal members of the flock can then parlay into a nifty nest egg to be frivolously spent on booze, rims, and Affliction gear  that matches your barbwire tattoo?  Not even close.

Still, we’ve managed to find a little time to put together a palatable slate of plays for those of you interested in this sort of thing…you know who you are, you’re called “degenerates” by people of good repute.

Florida at USC (+17.5):  We posted earlier this week on what a strange year this has been for the Gator allegiant.  Like Dickinson said many years ago…It was the best of times, it was the worst of times… 

What we expect is more of the same from our beloved Gators…good defense and so many field goals you’ll feel like your watching Australian Rules…Throw in the slugger’s chance you always have when The Visor is pacing the sidelines with his diabolical playbook and the fact the ‘Cocks are pretty stiff at home (who can resist?), and we’ll take the generous 17 plus the hook. 

Afterwards, we’ll join the rest of the Gators in listening stone-faced to Urban’s typical, taciturn post-game press conference which will include some variation of the following statement “that was Florida football out there, field position, protect the ball, and good defense,” and if we’re lucky to catch our stoic leader on a peppy day, something like “any win in the SEC is a good win.”  He’ll be right of course, but we’ll still feel like we just took a smokin’ hot girl to a $200.00 dinner at Ruth’s Chris and didn’t even get a kiss at the door. 

Florida 23-13, and don’t bother DVR’ing the game, you won’t want to watch it twice.

Utah (+20.5) at TCU:  We here at SNL love us some Utes.  No, not because they were kind of enough to give us Urban Meyer in exchange for a truckload of money.  Rather, our love is founded on irony:  As in, “it’s ironic that the Utes do not aspire to the ethnic and religious homogeneity of their sister university, BYU.”  Because of this willingness to embrace athletes who are more err….athletic- yea! That’s it…athleitc!!-than those of the Provo variety, the Utes can hang around with TCU.   Here’s to you Jimmy the Greek!

TCU 28-13…buy the hook an make sure you get the three touchdonwns, you’ll be white-knuckling until the end of this one.

The Best of the Rest:

Miss St. (+12.5) over ‘Bama

Da’U v. UNC o44

Stanford (+10.5) over the Boy-Troys

Notre Dame (+7) over Pitt…

-So sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: ACC, ATS, Bama, BCS, Degenerate Gamblers, Gators, Horned Frogs, Meyer, Spurrier, USC, Utes

Tebow_looks_Terrific.jpg image by nursetpd

Taking inventory of Florida’s season amongst friends following the Vandy win brought about an interesting observation.  Namely, that 2009 hasn’t been “fun” in any traditional sense.  Before expounding on this seemingly incongruent statement SNL would like to apologize to fans in Athens, Tallahassee, Baton Rouge, South Bend or Ann Arbor, who have or are suffering through forgettable seasons.  Put another way, we are mindful of the fact that this post is a lot like the rich kid complaining that he only got a Corvette for his 16th birthday.

Irrespective, this season has been arduous for Florida fans for a host of reasons, most of which have been espoused by mainstream pundits ad nauseum in weeks past.  Yes, the schedule has been awful-honestly, what game other than LSU did any Florida fans reasonably anticipate?  (No, Arkansas doesn’t count because it didn’t become interesting until Arkansas threatened to win and, Arkansas got destroyed the following week by the Rebs.)  And, the offense has been painful to watch.  This fact is best illustrated by SNL’s wife, a casual fan at best (she’s from Maine), who stated innocently following the Vandy game, “this is just bad TV.”  She’s right, of course. 

Even St. Tim, the lamb of god, has shown signs that he is no longer enjoying the grind that is the 2009 season, succumbing to expectations by chucking picks and refusing to talk to the media on at least one occasion.  In sum, there is plenty of empirical evidence to support the fact that 2009 has been a tough season for the Gators, despite the fact that Florida is ranked #1, undefeated, and on a collision course with its equal but opposite reciprocal in the ATL for the SECCG. 

What isn’t so obvious, however, is that Florida’s grind is par for the course for programs that establish a level of excellence that can only be described as dominant.  Winning handily with solid defense is no longer enough for the Florida allegiant, who expect their quixotic leader and his cadre of speedsters to win big, as if Percy-like highlights are now an entitlement for the Orange and Blue.  Strangely, boasting the #1 defense and commensurate BCS ranking also do little to salve the inexplicably waning euphoria of the Gator Nation. 

Lost amidst the negativity and dozens of calls to local radio programs questioning everything from Tebow’s throwing motion to Addazio’s game planning to Florida’s ability to beat Alabama is that this, Flock, is the promised land.  This is what it is like to sit atop the CFB world, returning most players from the 2008 Championship team and the most recognizable CFB football player in the history of the game (more in this later). 

We asked for this.  Right?  This is what we wanted, the most coveted Coach?  A sea filled with the corpses of vanquished challengers?  Few rivals worthy of our respect?   This, Flock, is the crown.  It is by its very nature, a blessing that inevitably brings about expectations, complacence, and if not careful, precipitous falls.  The crown is to be worn solemnly, if at all, and you, dispirited Gator fan, would be wise to recognize that the dismay you feel following a 27-3 win over a hapless SEC team, is the inevitable by-product of a reign of supremacy greater than any ever experienced in Gainesville. 

So stop crying and start laughing.  These are happy times, though it might not always feel that way. 

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

The Rocket going away...
The Rocket going away…

I know, Flock, we promised no more Spikes.  But the Rocket a/k/a Gameday’s least qualified commentator (which is impressive in a sad sort of way), just unleashed a morality rant that can essentially be distilled into the following statement:  Spikes should be banned from CFB and Meyer should be excoriated publicly for all eternity.   Forget for a minute that all E-SPIN employees should have been advised by corporate memo from taking a moral stand of any kind-you know, because roughly 40% of the E-SPIN “talent” is doinking an intern or 2.  In fact, rumor has it that Letterman is looking to moonlight in Bristol.

But the fact is that the UF-UGA game was a fight from the time toe met leather.  UGA had 4 personal fouls in the first half, and photos of the alleged “victim,” Ealey, have since revealed that he punched Florida’s Haden in the face.  Does that absolve Spikes?  Not in the least.  But Spikes is known to be a good guy and he screwed up.  So let it go.  And, for those who have accused SNL of homerism, we noted that a whole game suspension was deserved well before Urban made an about face. 

Irrespective, E-SPIN’s  incessant need to pile on, from the corpulent doofis that is Golic (see previous post) to the silk-kerchiefed “Rocket,” is over the top.   The World Wide Leader in supplying young, starry-eyed interns to be conquested sexually by its well-paid cadre of modestly talented mouthpieces should let this one go.

Moving on…

Wake at GTU (-14):  See our previous post if you want some wit, this pick is nothin’ but business.  Shoddy run D for the Deacs and poor road team versus the best running team in the ACC.  This one should get ugly. 

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: ACC, ATS, E-SPIN, Gameday, Interns

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