E-SPIN

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Cleverly dubbed “Flori-Bama-geddon” by Dr. Saturday, the “game of the century of the year” is finally upon us.  What can we add to the cacophony of the well-coifed heads at E-SPIN and the other media outlets that hasn’t been said already?  Not much. 

The teams look roughly equal on paper and no one has much sense about what is going to happen in the ATL today.  The Gator plaudits, naturally, think Tebow is the difference between 2 teams that are otherwise symmetrical reciprocals of one another.  Maybe they’re right.  The ‘Bama loyalists, conversely, feel that Ingram and their defense, which is admittedly a frightening sight, will put them over the top.  And, for the most part, the E-SPIN heads have quit “Tiger Woods-ing” their hot interns just long enough to voice a consensus pick for Alabama. 

Since we at SNL are a small operation, incapable of matching blows with the marginally talented but highly overpaid heads yapping on cable, we’ll use this space to talk about something novel, perhaps even revolutionary:  Tim Tebow’s legacy and more specifically, how Tiger Woods has helped define it.  

What?  How?  Sit back flock, and have a listen. 

Tebow’s star has shone brightly since the day he signed with Florida and has brightened since, prompting Dr. Satuday to dub him “The Tebow Child” and countless others to promulgate some variation of the Tebow-is-Jesus-meme’.  The natural by-product of the “Tebow phenomenon,” of course, has been a smaller, but equally vociferous cadre’ of Tebow haters. 

This is easy enough to understand because it is the way of things.  For example, we at SNL have little more than a cursory interest in baseball, but will stop on occasion to root against the Yankees.  The difference, however, between the casual dislike of teams or individuals that are showered with adulation and the seemingly ubiquitous love for Florida’s quixotic QB is that Tebow has earned the right to be admired by us, the fans. 

How he has done this is perhaps best explained by the litany of athletes and other public figures who have parlayed their fame and fortune into a self-indulgent buffet wherein they are free to worry only about themselves, names such as Pitino, Burress, Irvin, Jordan, Barkley, Lewis, Ewing, Thomas, McNair, Huggins, everyone talking head at E-Spin, not to mention Letterman, countless politicians, CEO’s, and bankers.

Put another way, at every turn we are let down by people we admire, trust, and look up to; gambling, boozing, drugs, theft, adultery and the list goes on.  In general, the moral malaise of the privileged is a simple equation:  “I take what I want, without concern for others.”  The latest embodiment of this ubiquitous covenant of the famous is Tiger Woods, whose fall from grace has taken the world by surprise, but only because Tiger has been such an enigmatic figure outside of the golf world.  In the end, Tiger is just another person who has exploited his exalted status for personal gain without concern for those that would be damaged. 

This is the point where the cynics patronizingly tell us that “athletes are not role models” etc… While this may be true, it doesn’t mean that athletes can’t be role models, and it damn sure doesn’t mean that we don’t wish they were.  And every so often, they are. 

What separates Tebow from his peers and makes him such a transcendent figure is that we can count on him.  No, not to win every game or make every pass, but to make decisions according to a core set of values, values that we all aspire to, but don’t always live up to.  For those with young children, this is doubly true.   Sure it’s corny, cliche’ and wistful to hope want our heroes to be just that, but it’s who we are.  And, Tebow could, like Tiger, parlay his fame into a revolving door of beautiful co-eds, actresses, and other celebrities.  He could parlay his fame into a narcissistic world of self-gratification.  But he won’t. 

So today, whether you be a fan of the Tide, the Gators or neither, you should also be a fan of Tebow, he won’t let you down.  He never does.    

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

Phew…we at SNL have been running amok about the state of Florida this week.  Why you ask?  To bring you the very best in breaking CFB news and information?  Which you, loyal members of the flock can then parlay into a nifty nest egg to be frivolously spent on booze, rims, and Affliction gear  that matches your barbwire tattoo?  Not even close.

Still, we’ve managed to find a little time to put together a palatable slate of plays for those of you interested in this sort of thing…you know who you are, you’re called “degenerates” by people of good repute.

Florida at USC (+17.5):  We posted earlier this week on what a strange year this has been for the Gator allegiant.  Like Dickinson said many years ago…It was the best of times, it was the worst of times… 

What we expect is more of the same from our beloved Gators…good defense and so many field goals you’ll feel like your watching Australian Rules…Throw in the slugger’s chance you always have when The Visor is pacing the sidelines with his diabolical playbook and the fact the ‘Cocks are pretty stiff at home (who can resist?), and we’ll take the generous 17 plus the hook. 

Afterwards, we’ll join the rest of the Gators in listening stone-faced to Urban’s typical, taciturn post-game press conference which will include some variation of the following statement “that was Florida football out there, field position, protect the ball, and good defense,” and if we’re lucky to catch our stoic leader on a peppy day, something like “any win in the SEC is a good win.”  He’ll be right of course, but we’ll still feel like we just took a smokin’ hot girl to a $200.00 dinner at Ruth’s Chris and didn’t even get a kiss at the door. 

Florida 23-13, and don’t bother DVR’ing the game, you won’t want to watch it twice.

Utah (+20.5) at TCU:  We here at SNL love us some Utes.  No, not because they were kind of enough to give us Urban Meyer in exchange for a truckload of money.  Rather, our love is founded on irony:  As in, “it’s ironic that the Utes do not aspire to the ethnic and religious homogeneity of their sister university, BYU.”  Because of this willingness to embrace athletes who are more err….athletic- yea! That’s it…athleitc!!-than those of the Provo variety, the Utes can hang around with TCU.   Here’s to you Jimmy the Greek!

TCU 28-13…buy the hook an make sure you get the three touchdonwns, you’ll be white-knuckling until the end of this one.

The Best of the Rest:

Miss St. (+12.5) over ‘Bama

Da’U v. UNC o44

Stanford (+10.5) over the Boy-Troys

Notre Dame (+7) over Pitt…

-So sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: ACC, ATS, Bama, BCS, Degenerate Gamblers, Gators, Horned Frogs, Meyer, Spurrier, USC, Utes

Tebow_looks_Terrific.jpg image by nursetpd

Taking inventory of Florida’s season amongst friends following the Vandy win brought about an interesting observation.  Namely, that 2009 hasn’t been “fun” in any traditional sense.  Before expounding on this seemingly incongruent statement SNL would like to apologize to fans in Athens, Tallahassee, Baton Rouge, South Bend or Ann Arbor, who have or are suffering through forgettable seasons.  Put another way, we are mindful of the fact that this post is a lot like the rich kid complaining that he only got a Corvette for his 16th birthday.

Irrespective, this season has been arduous for Florida fans for a host of reasons, most of which have been espoused by mainstream pundits ad nauseum in weeks past.  Yes, the schedule has been awful-honestly, what game other than LSU did any Florida fans reasonably anticipate?  (No, Arkansas doesn’t count because it didn’t become interesting until Arkansas threatened to win and, Arkansas got destroyed the following week by the Rebs.)  And, the offense has been painful to watch.  This fact is best illustrated by SNL’s wife, a casual fan at best (she’s from Maine), who stated innocently following the Vandy game, “this is just bad TV.”  She’s right, of course. 

Even St. Tim, the lamb of god, has shown signs that he is no longer enjoying the grind that is the 2009 season, succumbing to expectations by chucking picks and refusing to talk to the media on at least one occasion.  In sum, there is plenty of empirical evidence to support the fact that 2009 has been a tough season for the Gators, despite the fact that Florida is ranked #1, undefeated, and on a collision course with its equal but opposite reciprocal in the ATL for the SECCG. 

What isn’t so obvious, however, is that Florida’s grind is par for the course for programs that establish a level of excellence that can only be described as dominant.  Winning handily with solid defense is no longer enough for the Florida allegiant, who expect their quixotic leader and his cadre of speedsters to win big, as if Percy-like highlights are now an entitlement for the Orange and Blue.  Strangely, boasting the #1 defense and commensurate BCS ranking also do little to salve the inexplicably waning euphoria of the Gator Nation. 

Lost amidst the negativity and dozens of calls to local radio programs questioning everything from Tebow’s throwing motion to Addazio’s game planning to Florida’s ability to beat Alabama is that this, Flock, is the promised land.  This is what it is like to sit atop the CFB world, returning most players from the 2008 Championship team and the most recognizable CFB football player in the history of the game (more in this later). 

We asked for this.  Right?  This is what we wanted, the most coveted Coach?  A sea filled with the corpses of vanquished challengers?  Few rivals worthy of our respect?   This, Flock, is the crown.  It is by its very nature, a blessing that inevitably brings about expectations, complacence, and if not careful, precipitous falls.  The crown is to be worn solemnly, if at all, and you, dispirited Gator fan, would be wise to recognize that the dismay you feel following a 27-3 win over a hapless SEC team, is the inevitable by-product of a reign of supremacy greater than any ever experienced in Gainesville. 

So stop crying and start laughing.  These are happy times, though it might not always feel that way. 

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

The Rocket going away...
The Rocket going away…

I know, Flock, we promised no more Spikes.  But the Rocket a/k/a Gameday’s least qualified commentator (which is impressive in a sad sort of way), just unleashed a morality rant that can essentially be distilled into the following statement:  Spikes should be banned from CFB and Meyer should be excoriated publicly for all eternity.   Forget for a minute that all E-SPIN employees should have been advised by corporate memo from taking a moral stand of any kind-you know, because roughly 40% of the E-SPIN “talent” is doinking an intern or 2.  In fact, rumor has it that Letterman is looking to moonlight in Bristol.

But the fact is that the UF-UGA game was a fight from the time toe met leather.  UGA had 4 personal fouls in the first half, and photos of the alleged “victim,” Ealey, have since revealed that he punched Florida’s Haden in the face.  Does that absolve Spikes?  Not in the least.  But Spikes is known to be a good guy and he screwed up.  So let it go.  And, for those who have accused SNL of homerism, we noted that a whole game suspension was deserved well before Urban made an about face. 

Irrespective, E-SPIN’s  incessant need to pile on, from the corpulent doofis that is Golic (see previous post) to the silk-kerchiefed “Rocket,” is over the top.   The World Wide Leader in supplying young, starry-eyed interns to be conquested sexually by its well-paid cadre of modestly talented mouthpieces should let this one go.

Moving on…

Wake at GTU (-14):  See our previous post if you want some wit, this pick is nothin’ but business.  Shoddy run D for the Deacs and poor road team versus the best running team in the ACC.  This one should get ugly. 

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: ACC, ATS, E-SPIN, Gameday, Interns

EaleySpikes Sure, two wrongs don’t make a right and yada, yada, yada.  But it seems to use here at SNL that the foregoing is pictorial evidence that suggests the Ealey may have been giving a few Florida players, including Spikes’ bestest bud, Haden, the business on Saturday.  True, we’ve got no temporal sense of when this fracas occurred, but it seems reasonable to assume it occurred before Brandon “The Velociraptor” Spikes went Mike Tyson on Ealey’s orbs. 

This will please Pops, who as noted, doesn’t typically accept with aplomb foul play on the part of his beloved Gators (and quite often closes his eyes and ears and yells la, la, la, la at the top of his lungs when bad behavior on the part of the Orange and Blue is afoot).  As an added benefit, this fine photograph seems to mitigate if not exonerate poor Mr. Spikes, who has been beset by naysayers of the E-SPIN variety since this issue blew up last weekend.  We just knew that no man worthy of the Orange and Blue would stoop to such levels unprovoked.  Right?

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: Ealey, Gators, Spikes, UGA

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