Gameday

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Phew…we at SNL have been running amok about the state of Florida this week.  Why you ask?  To bring you the very best in breaking CFB news and information?  Which you, loyal members of the flock can then parlay into a nifty nest egg to be frivolously spent on booze, rims, and Affliction gear  that matches your barbwire tattoo?  Not even close.

Still, we’ve managed to find a little time to put together a palatable slate of plays for those of you interested in this sort of thing…you know who you are, you’re called “degenerates” by people of good repute.

Florida at USC (+17.5):  We posted earlier this week on what a strange year this has been for the Gator allegiant.  Like Dickinson said many years ago…It was the best of times, it was the worst of times… 

What we expect is more of the same from our beloved Gators…good defense and so many field goals you’ll feel like your watching Australian Rules…Throw in the slugger’s chance you always have when The Visor is pacing the sidelines with his diabolical playbook and the fact the ‘Cocks are pretty stiff at home (who can resist?), and we’ll take the generous 17 plus the hook. 

Afterwards, we’ll join the rest of the Gators in listening stone-faced to Urban’s typical, taciturn post-game press conference which will include some variation of the following statement “that was Florida football out there, field position, protect the ball, and good defense,” and if we’re lucky to catch our stoic leader on a peppy day, something like “any win in the SEC is a good win.”  He’ll be right of course, but we’ll still feel like we just took a smokin’ hot girl to a $200.00 dinner at Ruth’s Chris and didn’t even get a kiss at the door. 

Florida 23-13, and don’t bother DVR’ing the game, you won’t want to watch it twice.

Utah (+20.5) at TCU:  We here at SNL love us some Utes.  No, not because they were kind of enough to give us Urban Meyer in exchange for a truckload of money.  Rather, our love is founded on irony:  As in, “it’s ironic that the Utes do not aspire to the ethnic and religious homogeneity of their sister university, BYU.”  Because of this willingness to embrace athletes who are more err….athletic- yea! That’s it…athleitc!!-than those of the Provo variety, the Utes can hang around with TCU.   Here’s to you Jimmy the Greek!

TCU 28-13…buy the hook an make sure you get the three touchdonwns, you’ll be white-knuckling until the end of this one.

The Best of the Rest:

Miss St. (+12.5) over ‘Bama

Da’U v. UNC o44

Stanford (+10.5) over the Boy-Troys

Notre Dame (+7) over Pitt…

-So sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: ACC, ATS, Bama, BCS, Degenerate Gamblers, Gators, Horned Frogs, Meyer, Spurrier, USC, Utes

The Rocket going away...
The Rocket going away…

I know, Flock, we promised no more Spikes.  But the Rocket a/k/a Gameday’s least qualified commentator (which is impressive in a sad sort of way), just unleashed a morality rant that can essentially be distilled into the following statement:  Spikes should be banned from CFB and Meyer should be excoriated publicly for all eternity.   Forget for a minute that all E-SPIN employees should have been advised by corporate memo from taking a moral stand of any kind-you know, because roughly 40% of the E-SPIN “talent” is doinking an intern or 2.  In fact, rumor has it that Letterman is looking to moonlight in Bristol.

But the fact is that the UF-UGA game was a fight from the time toe met leather.  UGA had 4 personal fouls in the first half, and photos of the alleged “victim,” Ealey, have since revealed that he punched Florida’s Haden in the face.  Does that absolve Spikes?  Not in the least.  But Spikes is known to be a good guy and he screwed up.  So let it go.  And, for those who have accused SNL of homerism, we noted that a whole game suspension was deserved well before Urban made an about face. 

Irrespective, E-SPIN’s  incessant need to pile on, from the corpulent doofis that is Golic (see previous post) to the silk-kerchiefed “Rocket,” is over the top.   The World Wide Leader in supplying young, starry-eyed interns to be conquested sexually by its well-paid cadre of modestly talented mouthpieces should let this one go.

Moving on…

Wake at GTU (-14):  See our previous post if you want some wit, this pick is nothin’ but business.  Shoddy run D for the Deacs and poor road team versus the best running team in the ACC.  This one should get ugly. 

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: ACC, ATS, E-SPIN, Gameday, Interns