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The Rest of Saturday’s Card,a word on the Gators, and an ode to Jimmy the Greek…

November 14, 2009 in ACC, ATS, BCS, E-SPIN, Gameday, Gators, Main Content, PAC 1 + 9, PAC 10, SEC | 2 comments

Phew…we at SNL have been running amok about the state of Florida this week.  Why you ask?  To bring you the very best in breaking CFB news and information?  Which you, loyal members of the flock can then parlay into a nifty nest egg to be frivolously spent on booze, rims, and Affliction gear  that matches your barbwire tattoo?  Not even close.

Still, we’ve managed to find a little time to put together a palatable slate of plays for those of you interested in this sort of thing…you know who you are, you’re called “degenerates” by people of good repute.

Florida at USC (+17.5):  We posted earlier this week on what a strange year this has been for the Gator allegiant.  Like Dickinson said many years ago…It was the best of times, it was the worst of times… 

What we expect is more of the same from our beloved Gators…good defense and so many field goals you’ll feel like your watching Australian Rules…Throw in the slugger’s chance you always have when The Visor is pacing the sidelines with his diabolical playbook and the fact the ‘Cocks are pretty stiff at home (who can resist?), and we’ll take the generous 17 plus the hook. 

Afterwards, we’ll join the rest of the Gators in listening stone-faced to Urban’s typical, taciturn post-game press conference which will include some variation of the following statement “that was Florida football out there, field position, protect the ball, and good defense,” and if we’re lucky to catch our stoic leader on a peppy day, something like “any win in the SEC is a good win.”  He’ll be right of course, but we’ll still feel like we just took a smokin’ hot girl to a $200.00 dinner at Ruth’s Chris and didn’t even get a kiss at the door. 

Florida 23-13, and don’t bother DVR’ing the game, you won’t want to watch it twice.

Utah (+20.5) at TCU:  We here at SNL love us some Utes.  No, not because they were kind of enough to give us Urban Meyer in exchange for a truckload of money.  Rather, our love is founded on irony:  As in, “it’s ironic that the Utes do not aspire to the ethnic and religious homogeneity of their sister university, BYU.”  Because of this willingness to embrace athletes who are more err….athletic- yea! That’s it…athleitc!!-than those of the Provo variety, the Utes can hang around with TCU.   Here’s to you Jimmy the Greek!

TCU 28-13…buy the hook an make sure you get the three touchdonwns, you’ll be white-knuckling until the end of this one.

The Best of the Rest:

Miss St. (+12.5) over ‘Bama

Da’U v. UNC o44

Stanford (+10.5) over the Boy-Troys

Notre Dame (+7) over Pitt…

-So sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: ACC, ATS, Bama, BCS, Degenerate Gamblers, Gators, Horned Frogs, Meyer, Spurrier, USC, Utes

Florida’s Burden: Heavy hangs the head that wears the crown.

November 10, 2009 in BCS, E-SPIN, Gators, Main Content, Notre Dame, SEC Fans, UGA | No comments

Tebow_looks_Terrific.jpg image by nursetpd

Taking inventory of Florida’s season amongst friends following the Vandy win brought about an interesting observation.  Namely, that 2009 hasn’t been “fun” in any traditional sense.  Before expounding on this seemingly incongruent statement SNL would like to apologize to fans in Athens, Tallahassee, Baton Rouge, South Bend or Ann Arbor, who have or are suffering through forgettable seasons.  Put another way, we are mindful of the fact that this post is a lot like the rich kid complaining that he only got a Corvette for his 16th birthday.

Irrespective, this season has been arduous for Florida fans for a host of reasons, most of which have been espoused by mainstream pundits ad nauseum in weeks past.  Yes, the schedule has been awful-honestly, what game other than LSU did any Florida fans reasonably anticipate?  (No, Arkansas doesn’t count because it didn’t become interesting until Arkansas threatened to win and, Arkansas got destroyed the following week by the Rebs.)  And, the offense has been painful to watch.  This fact is best illustrated by SNL’s wife, a casual fan at best (she’s from Maine), who stated innocently following the Vandy game, “this is just bad TV.”  She’s right, of course. 

Even St. Tim, the lamb of god, has shown signs that he is no longer enjoying the grind that is the 2009 season, succumbing to expectations by chucking picks and refusing to talk to the media on at least one occasion.  In sum, there is plenty of empirical evidence to support the fact that 2009 has been a tough season for the Gators, despite the fact that Florida is ranked #1, undefeated, and on a collision course with its equal but opposite reciprocal in the ATL for the SECCG. 

What isn’t so obvious, however, is that Florida’s grind is par for the course for programs that establish a level of excellence that can only be described as dominant.  Winning handily with solid defense is no longer enough for the Florida allegiant, who expect their quixotic leader and his cadre of speedsters to win big, as if Percy-like highlights are now an entitlement for the Orange and Blue.  Strangely, boasting the #1 defense and commensurate BCS ranking also do little to salve the inexplicably waning euphoria of the Gator Nation. 

Lost amidst the negativity and dozens of calls to local radio programs questioning everything from Tebow’s throwing motion to Addazio’s game planning to Florida’s ability to beat Alabama is that this, Flock, is the promised land.  This is what it is like to sit atop the CFB world, returning most players from the 2008 Championship team and the most recognizable CFB football player in the history of the game (more in this later). 

We asked for this.  Right?  This is what we wanted, the most coveted Coach?  A sea filled with the corpses of vanquished challengers?  Few rivals worthy of our respect?   This, Flock, is the crown.  It is by its very nature, a blessing that inevitably brings about expectations, complacence, and if not careful, precipitous falls.  The crown is to be worn solemnly, if at all, and you, dispirited Gator fan, would be wise to recognize that the dismay you feel following a 27-3 win over a hapless SEC team, is the inevitable by-product of a reign of supremacy greater than any ever experienced in Gainesville. 

So stop crying and start laughing.  These are happy times, though it might not always feel that way. 

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

Welcome to the Flori-Bama: The Parallels Continue for the Tide and Gators

October 16, 2009 in ACC, Degenerate Gamblers, Dr. Saturday, E-SPIN, Gators, Main Content, Notre Dame, PAC 1 + 9, UGA | No comments

For those members of the flock that are hard-of-thinking, the foregoing picture is a metaphor for last Saturday’s “showdowns,” which turned out to be beatdowns, but provided the home teams fan base with a great chance to drink excessively. 

SNL recently posted on the “Flori-Bama”.  This quasi-clever moniker (which is also the name of a world famous bar on the state line) is SNL’s way of saying that Florida and Alabama are equal but opposite reciprocals of one another, and on a collision course for ATL and in turn, the BCSNCG. 

For the most part, the similarities were obvious before last week, when both Alabama and Florida shut down top-20 teams on the road in the most pugilistic of ways, stifling defenses and plodding, conservative offenses with a run-first philosophy.  Sure there are other similarities; both programs are helmed by taciturn, tight-lipped, control freaks who lord over their respective programs (and states for that matter) like medieval warlords and both fan bases are beyond fervent.  For the most erudite Florida fans, the fact that the Gators under Pope Meyer are a single-wing, power running team (and have been for awhile now) that is thinly camouflaged by offensive sets with wide receivers running thither and yon, is not only no surprise, but is welcomed. 

For many, however, this concept is upsetting.  This is particularly true amongst those who still recall with giddy reverie the days when the OBC would fill the air with footballs.  Be that as it may, SNL has accepted if nt embraced the fact that Meyer’s Gators are and will likely remain a team created in ‘Bama’s image-which is a good thing.  And, when these titans meet in the ATL this year, the collision will be epic-though the scoreboard may not reflect the genius of the respective generals on each sideline. 

SNL’s prescience has lost some of its shine now that the mainstream heads at si.com and E-SPIN have jumped on the bandwagon, but we will continue to site to our previous post as evidence that we were way out in front of this story. 

Well, flock, the parallels between the SEC behemoths continues this week when Alabama hosts USC and Florida hosts Arkansas.  For the records, Vegas has made ‘Bama a mere 17-point favorite over USC, and Florida a whopping 24-point favorite over the Hawgs.  The camps of both underdogs are predictably mum on the chances for an upset, and who can blame them.  More on the actual matchups later, let’s do some housekeeping. 

Last week, 7-4 ATS, 18-13 YTD.  By now, most teams are who we thought they were, and the wins are starting to come at a pace which will have the wifey in some new jewelry at season’s end.  SNL’s winning percentage in year’s past has been roughly 57% in weeks 1 through 5, and 67% in weeks 5 through 14.  Se we expect to keep on rolling.

Dis and Dat….The wheels remain intact in Athens, but barely.  Too bad because even the most calloused Gator fan can see that Richt is a good Coach and a better person.  Still, the fratricide of the SEC is unrelenting and losing to Layla Kiffin’s husband will fire up any fan base because, well, that guy’s a total jackass.  Speaking of wheels, another tough week for the ‘Noles, losing at home to Tech having been compounded by the details of the cheating schedule.  Far be it for SNL to pile on, but if you’re going to give scholarships to players who read a second-grade level (after a few years of “college” no less), you should have the common decency to be a good football team.  On the upside, by virtue of consistently sucking for 5-years or so, no one is saying that the “wheels are coming off” in Tallahassee, that ship has sailed. 

Erstwhile…Da’ U will be without 4 starters when it visits UCF tomorrow, which won’t matter, and USFwas rolled at home by Cincinnati, a fact which is further illustrative of FSU’s precipitous fall from grace since, you know, the Bulls crushed the ‘Noles in Doak with a Backup QB a few weeks back.  Finally, this is a grand week for all of CFB.  Why?  Because Notre Damehas to play USC, which will effectively foreclose any more talk of the Clausen-for-heisman, a loss for the limousine industry, but a win for Irish-haters everywhere.  The downside, of course, is the inevitable “USC is playing as well as anyone in the country right now,”  which will be a talking point for all of the frosted tipped fellows at E-SPIN. 

Picks out tomorrow…

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: ATS, Degenerate Gambler, DEGENERATES, Layla Kiffin, Noles, PAC 1+9, SEC, Spurrier, The Hat, UGA, Urban Meyer, USC

What they’re saying in Baton Rouge and Tebow-Gate: Will he or won’t he?

October 8, 2009 in Gators, LSU, Main Content, The Hat | No comments

tebow-meyerAfter much rumination, SNL has decided to post weekly on what the other camps blogs and sports columnists are reporting.  Assuming of course, the that “other camp” is not FIU or one of the other embarrassing D-II schools Foley insists on scheduling due to the “economics of the situation.”  In other words, if Vegas doesn’t have a spread, the game doesn’t really happen, no matter how many fervent, orange and blue clad folks you shove in The Swamp.  So, without further ado…

Tiger Bait is concerned with LSU’s pass rush, which hasn’t generated a sack since the Vandy game.  Truth be told, Vandy is more or less like SNL’s old JV team, which passed only after 2 (or 3 depending on field position) running plays failed to net a first down.  Naturally, there’s no way of knowing what goes on in the woeful Commie’s huddle, but the results can reasonably lead one to conclude that Vandy’s pass plays are drawn on the chest of the QB with his fingers, so sacks of Commie QB’s are essentially void ab initio.

And the Valley Shook, a well-reasoned LSU blog and one of SNL’s favorites, has devoted some space to deriding the now rote “LSU-crank-calling” tradition and thrown in a nice cuckolding of the chorus of expertswith no information whatsoever but who nonetheless maintain that Tebow should not play this Saturday.   SNL couldn’t agree more.  With respect to actual x’s and o’s, ATVS has remained relatively mum, but has taken an interesting position positing that the primary reason to sit Tebow is because this game “isn’t that important to either team.”  Presumably, this assertion is based on the fact that either team winning out following a loss in this game would be a de facto participant in the national title game.  SNL is not entirely certain that this logic holds sway if its Florida that loses, for two reasons:  1) Florida’s non-conference slate is abysmal, doubly so now that we can all attest to the fact that FSU is horrible by any objective measure and under siege to boot; and 2) Florida’s Western Division draw this year omits ‘Bama, Ole Miss, and Auburn, so Florida’s next opportunity to impress the pollsters will be in the SECCG.  Put another way, LSU plays 3 more ranked teams, one in the top-3, and Florida plays zero unless the OBC can catch fire.  Ergo, for Florida this game is a must win. 

Bandit’s LSU Sports Blogspt LSUga bf 0197.jpg has chosen to opine on LSU’s lack of pass rush and questions Florida’s ability to exploit it.  After some relatively banal introspection (in written form), Bandit  concludes that Florida can, in fact, exploit LSU’s lack of pressure and ends his piece prophetically but writing “[s]ometimes weakness can be exploited both at the depth of the weakness and during the attempt to fix the problem.”    Bandit, circa 2009 A.D.  So Bandit is no wizard of hyperbole, the blog is still worth a gander on game week. 

Baton Rouge’s on-line newspaper, The Advocate,  has a piece centered on LSU’s renewed “swagger” due to Scott’s 95 yard performance at UGA last week and his 33-yard scoring run with time running out.  Click if you’re bored, but this is just banal newspaper drivel.  Of course, using the term swagger is all of the rage thanks to Jay-Z and friends, but this clevueruse of contemporary nomenclature aside, there’s no need to check this piece out.  Maybe the ’swagger” will hit this site in time for the game, so check back.  The columnist at The Advocate, Randy Rosetta, has a pretty good piece about the talk around the water cooler, so he should be worth reading in days to come.  One point of interest in Rosetta’s piece, CBS’ “experts” have given their picks and 4 of 5 think the Tigers will knock off the Gators.  For Florida fans who deem this to be little more than biased puffery, SNL would remind you that LSU has faced tougher competition to date, especially on the road where they have defeated a pretty good UGA and U-dub. 

LSU’s Student Newspaper is also worth a gander,  though there’s nothing to get all geeked up about at present. 

There you have it flock-no bulletin board material whatsoever, just two great programs respectful of one another and looking forward to a spirited competition. 

SNL will try and stir things up with this next post, all this hand-holding makes me sick. 

As for St. Tebow:  Pope Urb has been predictably mum on the situation, at least to those who know that Pope Urb is the love-child of Bill Belichik and Johnny “Tight Lips” Fugazzi (a little know Eye-talian gangster that spoke little, but killed much).  This has prompted The Hat to prepare for both QB’s-allegedly-which is all part of the plan.  Seriously, it seems that no one knows Tebow’s status, including the team of world renowned physicians that UF has hired to monitor his recovery.  The more interesting anlge to this overdone story is the divergence of opinion between the national media, who believe that Urban will readily mortgage Tebow’s future health for a win at LSU by playing him no matter what the “experts” say, and the regional media, who believe that Tebow will play because he’s, well, Tim Tebow, slayer of draqgons, feared by men and loved by women.  SNL has tried to hit up some of the local talking heads for some scoop-you know, put their physical education degrees to work for the betterment of the flock-to no avail.  It seems that the taciturn Urban, already skiddish when it comes to players who were wiened under Spurrier’s “finesse” system, has buttoned up all informal channels of communication as well. 

SNL expects Brantley and a very tight game to be won by Florida’s defense.  More on this later…

-So Sayeth the Shephard

Tags: Gators, LSU, Pope Meyer, The Hat

UF v. UT, The Feud Continues

September 22, 2009 in Gators, Vols | No comments

kiffinmeyerIf UT ever beats Florida again, this Kiffin-Meyer rivalry is going to be fantastic. 

The latest comes in the wake of Ut’s recent loss to the Gators, their 4th in a row bye the bye, when was asked whether he was worried about the flu hitting Tennessee, he said: “I don’t know. I guess we’ll wait and after we’re not excited about a performance, we’ll tell you everybody was sick.”  This thinly veiled barb is Kiffin’s crack-back against Meyer for saying that UT wasn’t trying to win the game on Saturday, which they weren’t, and that Florida’s conservative play was partially spawned by UT’s evident offensive impotence, and partially due to some key players having the flu. 

Kiffin wasn’t done either, telling the same reporter that “he wished he could play Florida again,” and “[n]ext time they [Florida] will be without Tebow.” 

The more conciliatory of the Gators have attempted to mitigate Kiffin’s comments by recalling the brash OBC, who coined such memorables as “Free Shoes University” and “[y]ou can’t spell Citrus without UT.”  True, we Gators lapped it up while the rest of the league fumed.  More discerning minds, however, might point out a small difference between the OBC and Kiffin:  Florida was winning games before the OBC wnet public, a lot of them. 

Until now, SNL has staunchly defended Baby Kiffin’s right to poke at Urban on grounds that Kiffin’s comments were the only thing that spawned any interest in this game outside of Gainesville and Knoxville.  This latest round, however, has cast Kiffin in a new light, making him seem petulant rather than precocious, boastful rathern than brave, pouty rather than competitive.  There is now enough evidence to believe that Kiffin is little more than spoiled brat who has had doors opened for him by his legendary father.  Kiffin’s track record certainly bolsters this assertion, he is now 7-17 as a head coach and UT’s appearance in a bowl game in 2009 is tenuous at best.  For comparative purposes, Kiffin’s former colleague, Sarkisian, has 2-1 record with a narrow defeat to a top-10 team and an upset win over a top-5 team, but has yet to take a shot at any of the PAC-10 coaches. 

Kiffin’s Vols did some good things against UF, but they did more mediocre and bad and all but the most partisan would agree that UT was never a threat to win against the Gators.  And yet, the mouthing-off continues.  The UT faithful will continue to drink the Kiffin-punch, for awhile.  But the time will come when losing to UF and Alabama year in and year out, no motter how fine the margin, will be unacceptable.  Until then, Kiffin’s barbs will rightfully be construed by the rest of us as the tantrums of a boy playing in a conference for men. 

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: Gators, UT, Vols

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