Cripes, I just caught wind of this pic over at EDSBS . The associated commentary is, as usual, witty, so check it out. SNL won’t devote alot of time to this, and probably couldn’t top the EDSBS “dinosaur/caveman” rant even if significant time were devoted to the topic of Spikes’ errr……new (same old) look. Suffice it to say that this is a bad man albeit one who eschews the limelight. Here’s a reminder for those of you with short-memories:
Like most, SNL is looking forward to Spikes introducing himself to UT’s diva, Bryce Brown in a bout a month or so.
We’ll be picking up the past here at SNL this week, looking at opening lines, commenting on Bowden’s opining that the Charlie Ward was a better college QB than Tebow, and trying to justify Florida’s decision to bring in a 73-point underdog on opening day (tough by any objective measure).
First, let’s clear the air…I’m sorry that I couldn’t entertain all of you throughout the long off-season. Like most, I’ve been working overtime to ensure that my wife will be understanding when my ravenous addiction to college football rears its head in…ohhh, about 3 weeks now. Fortunately, the Doctor (who is paid to entertain you) has been diligently harvesting nuggets of interest for the more gluttonous among you.
That said I will once again be adding my voice to the chorus of those marginally qualified to discuss college football and occasionally, the investment opportunities therein found.
True, my summer sebbatical has caused me to miss commenting on such notables as: Tebow-virgin-Gate; Bowden’s forfeitures of victories; Kiffin’s unsubstantiated bravado; and about a dozen or more abjectly worthless stories concocted by scribes attempting to justify their (often paltry) salary.
In the plus column I feel VIGOROUS and, I’ve been lifting weights-”I’m huge Jerry!” So in the weeks and days ahead, we’ll share some laughs, lose or win some money on missed over/unders blown by a missed FG or PAT, mock the ‘Noles, ‘Da U, and the PAC 1+9, and watch Gators and SEC dominate on the field (and airwaves, thanks E-SPIN!) and most importantly, share the unbridled fuzziness and warmth that college football brings to each of us to the chagrin of our loved ones.
By request from LSUFreek: Tebow slays the Oliphant.
SNL devoted considerable effort last week to debunking the myth that the SECCG was a game of “power v. speed.” The premise, which was sound then, has seemingly resonated with pundits, who have begun to hype the BCSCG as “SEC Power v. Big 12 Offense.”
Whether this hastily concocted framing of the BCSCG sticks remains to be seen, but it does validate SNL’s contention that this Florida team is a rugged, run-first team that plays “traditional football” from an infinite number of “non-traditional” formations.
Put another way, it always looks like the Gators are lining up to throw, but they seldom do (about 35% of the time), opting instead to ram the ball down the oppositions gullet with SCUD missiles and Abrams tanks. The problem for the defense is that unlike other run-first spread offenses, such as WVU, Florida CAN throw with precision and effectiveness.
On another note, SNL has come to believe that Florida’s offensive line is among the best in the Country. For the past month this premonition has grown into a bona fide contention as Florida’s O-line has dominated defenses that were statistically among the best in the nation. Mt. Cody’s diminished role in the SECCG is the result of a virtuoso performance on Saturday.
The second (and equally important) area in which Florida has improved significantly is the secondary. Haden is physical and capable of playing press coverage against anyone and Frosh superstar, Jenkins, is silly-good in coverage (and not afraid to hit either). Both struggled some against Jones, but that guy is an anomale-period. Sorry Sooners, you have no one who approaches Jones’ raw physical ability.
Final thoughts on Alabama: They were good-very strong at linebacker; tough up the middle; disciplined; physically imposing; extremely well-coached and far and away the best team Florida has played this year. This team will be back sooner rather than later as long as Saban is at the helm.
Opening thoughts on Oklahoma: For starters, don’t get caught up in the chorus of SEC homers singing the ”Oklahoma has no defense” song. Oklahoma has plenty of athletes on defense and they give up a ton of yards and points after the game is over-which is usually second quarter. Thay also lead their conference in sacks, pressures, and TFL.
Like UF before the SECCG, it is difficult to gauge OU’s mettle because they’ve blown everyone except Texas out. As a UF fan, SNL will go on the record with the fact that Texas is a scarier opponent than Oklahoma. This stems primarily from the fact that Texas has a better defense, and a better track record in big games than OU. Plenty of time to break down OU later, let’s enjoy the week as Champs of the SEC.
Finally, Florida has been bet up to a 3-point favorite since the line opened at 1.5 this morning. SNL suspects this will even out at Florida -2.5 in the weeks to come.
Apologies to all for the intermittent posting of late. Travel, child, wisby, and family have been demanding. On with the show…
Fresh off beatdowns of their hated rivals, Bama, Florida, and their zealous constituencies can now legitimately focus on one another. The first, and most predictable, framing of this week’s game by the pundits and fans is ‘Bama’s power v. Florida’s speed.
For those prone to believe that all shiny things are valuable, or that a rear-spoiler makes a cheap American sedan fast, the power v. speed paradigm seems to fit. After all, Bama is anchored along the lines of scrimmage by 2 behemoths, Cody (DT) and Smith (OT)-both first round certanties in the upcoming draft.
‘Bama also works largely from the I-formation, which is the traditional set for the “run-first” power teams, and uses the run to set-up its play action passing game.
Florida, conversely, lines up all over the field with speedy little (by football standards) fellows, most of whom do or could run track in the offseason. Florida also throws the ball a great deal-or more accurately, looks like its going to throw a great deal-and has only 1 player recognized nationally (Spikes) on its defense.
At first blush, therefore,the Power v. Speed characterization seems to fit. As is often the case, however, the initial diagnosis misses the mark. The more well-reasoned framing of this game is ‘Bama’s Power v. Florida’s Power and Speed.
SNL’s apologies for the length of time between posts. For the record, you can chalk it up to the usual litany of grown-man issues: attention starved (but hot) wife; attention starved (but adorable) 1 yr-old son; and attention starved cases requiring maintenance in the form of mediations, motions, demands and the like. Oh yeah, as evidenced below, SNL has also been forced to endure the South Beach diet, with admittedly stunning results, as you can see.
Naturally, SNL remains receptive to employment overtures from any mainstream media outlet. Hell, he’d even goose step amongst the E-SPIN propagandists for a pittance…
There have been a number of inquiries since my last post-well, 10 to be exact. Most were flattering calls for a speedy return from adoring readers. The other 7 were typical ‘Bama fan vitriole calling for SNL’s death, threatening his family, and attacking his sexuality based on nothing more than his allegiance to his alma mater and unfettered hatred for the state of Alabama, its corpulent populace, 3-legged dogs, litter, love of fried shit, cigarettes and Code Red Mountain Dew, and most of all, its football team.
Interesting to note that the calls and e-mails from SNL’s Gator constituency continue to center around ‘Bama which means that, predictably, the Gators have discarded the viability of a ‘Nole (or Citadel) upset next week. Go figure.
THE PICKS…
3-2 last week which means the wisby (This is a nickname SNL’s wife made for herself. It is typically accompanied by a “husby,” which is SNL. Embarrassing, but true.) is unlikely to receive her diamond earrings from Santa-husby. But also means SNL does not owen Vincenzo any scratch and not in danger of losing a limb.
UW (-7.5) at Wazzou: “This is a rivalry game…you can throw the records out the window…blah, blah, blah.” These teams are a combined 1-20. The gamewill not be televised nor would anyone watch if it were. However, the winner of this game will be unofficially crowned the “second worst BCS team in 2009.” This, friends, is a distinction worth fighting for! Washington has been competitive of late, leading ‘zona in the 3rd quarter, and wants to send off Willingham in style. Wazzou is lifeless, like a passed out tri-delt at homecoming. Huskies roll!!!
Illinois v. Northwestern (+2.5): Wrong team favored. SNL wathced Zookers clubs quit on him for years and knows the recipe well. Last week’s loss to the Buckeyes ensured that the Zookers will lie down this Saturday like the doormat bombshell that keeps letting you come over at 2:00 a.m. to say “hi.” What’s her number again?
UT at Vandy (-3.5): The Commies exact their revenge for years for years of futility by beating the poopie out of Foolmer’s despondent group. For UT, the season mercifully ends-which is the only thing anyone dressed in that godawful neon orange cares about. Vandy, conversely, is taking their geniusness bowling! Viva la revelucion’!
Ole Miss (+7) at LSU: If this needs explaining, SNL cannot help you. Ole Miss may well win this game outright. For those playing with house money, throw some on the moneyline. Nutt’s boys are headed to 8-4 and a top-25 ranking before its all said and done.
T.Tech (+7) v. Oklahoma: This one is dicey, but a touchdown seems awful generous. On the other hand, Tech hasn’t played anyone worth a damn outside of Lubbock, which makes Columbus (Ohio) look like gay Paris’ by the way.
Cripes, I just caught wind of this pic over at EDSBS . The associated commentary is, as usual, witty, so check it out. SNL won’t devote alot of time to this, and probably couldn’t top the EDSBS “dinosaur/caveman” rant even if significant time were devoted to the topic of Spikes’ errr……new (same old) look. Suffice it to say that this is a bad man albeit one who eschews the limelight. Here’s a reminder for those of you with short-memories: 
First, let’s clear the air…I’m sorry that I couldn’t entertain all of you throughout the long off-season. Like most, I’ve been working overtime to ensure that my wife will be understanding when my ravenous addiction to college football rears its head in…ohhh, about 3 weeks now. Fortunately, the 
