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MGoBlog  (which for those who don’t know, is a Michigan blog that is extremely well hosted), is reporting that Alabama and Michigan have agreed to playin Jerry’s House in Dallas, Tx in 2012.  Once you accept that backward-hat-wearing-Romo will probably be on the sidelines hamming it up with Saban’s well-oiled shock troops, the first question to pop into mind is who will be coaching Michigan once Rich-Rod is canned?  For that matter, who will be coaching ‘Bama? 

In a tangentially related story, a Dallas newspaper is reporting that Jerry Jones has asked Kim Kardashian for the name Bruce Jenner’s plastic surgeon-maybe Jenner can be honored at halftime?

On a more obvious note, it is somewhat galling that ‘Bama continues to schedule neutral site games (or home games) of obvious national significance.  True, there exist some plausible albeit provincial arguments for Florida’s inability to accomplish this.  But how much would you pay to see Urb kick the **** out of Layla Kiffin’s husband on a neutral site?  (The smug gonad pictured to the right, fyi.) 

We get it, FSU is non-conference rival which eats a spot on the schedule and there has to be so many home games a year, yada, yada.  But what ‘Bama is doing is not only admirable, it’s great theatre.  And, while heaping accolades on Da’U isn’t exactly par for the course here at SNL, have you checked the ‘Canes schedule lately? 

Florida’s athletic department is more or less unimpeachable by any objective measure, but come on Foley-Notre Dame in 2013?  The Girls of Troy?

The USA Today Coaches Poll hit the streets at 5:00 a.m this morning with few surprises in store for the over-zealous fan anxious to chest-thump at the water cooler about his team.  In fact, the top-5 heading into 2010 is the same quintet that ended inthe top-5 in 2009-like post bankster-gate America, the rich get really, really, rich, and the rest just hope to meet “The Situation” in the airport one day. 

Florida, benefitting from a groundswell of respect for Urban’s seemingly endless supply of 4 and 5 star cyborgs, checks in at No. 3.  ‘Bama, like Florida last year, finds itself as the “duh” No.1, despite losing its entire starting defense.  Ohio St., the only other team to receive a first place vote, is No.2. 

It goes without saying that the only significance of the first poll of the season is its relative insignificance when compared to the last one poll of the season.  Huge non-conference tilts in September coupled with Flori-Bama’s early October showdown could markedly alter the landscape of CFB in 2010.  Might not too?

Either way, there’s football ahead.  Thank god for that.

 

About this time last year, the Gator Nation was basking the warm glow brought about by the return of their quixotic QB and nearly everyone else from their Championship team.  Bolstered by predictions of a second consecutive championship (or at least a spot in the BCSCG) by everyone from Athlon’s and Steele to Mandel, there were actually boosters of the Bull-Gator variety booking rooms in Pasadena in August 2009. 

Then came the season, which judging by the number of columns asking what was “wrong” with Florida’s offense and the legions of fans voicing their displeasure with the “3-yards-but-occasionally-40-and-a-cloud-of-dust” playbook, was pure drudgery.  Meyer’s clipped tone following the victory over the Vols was merely the beginning of what would be an unending string of games that found the Florida staff  at a loss to explain wins. 

It should be noted that Florida’s schedule last year contributed mightily to the discontent of the Gator allegiant.  Within weeks, the Vols lost to what turned out to be a horrible UCLA team at home, UGA lost to Okie St., and LSU struggled mightily against nobody.  In typical fashion, the ‘Noles did their part by fielding the worst defense this side of Bethune-Cookman and losing their star QB weeks before the Gators came to town.  Put another way, the regular season schedule stunk, at least on paper.   As it turned out, only Arkansas (with questionable calls and a last minute comeback) and UGA provided any relief to the fretting Gator Nation in 2009, but if candor is among your attributes, Gator fan, you’ll admit that last year was all about one game, the rematch with ‘Bama.

Irrespective, there wasn’t a game on the schedule that the Gators weren’t supposed to win handily (the lowest point-spread of the year was Florida by 6.5-over Bama!), and the resulting mindset of the Gator Nation was that there was but one way win; destroy everyone.  Candidly, the pyrotechnic display Florida put on during the latter half of 2008 made this seem like a reasonable request at the time.  The realit was, however, quite different.

And, we all know how this ended-with our stud DE receiving a DUI for sleeping at a red light (allegedly) after attending a party with pretty much the entire team, followed by a sound beating at the hands of Darth Saban’s shock troops and teary-eyed Tebow on every flat screen in the Country.   Shortly thereafter, the Gator Nation was literally mouth agape for the better part of 2 weeks after learning that our seemingly impervious Coach was leaving for health reasons.  Looking back, it seems that the crushing weight of last season’s expectations was so tremendous, that it had a visceral effect on the usually stoic Coach Meyer.  And why wouldn’t it? 

For those among you who still doubt the accuracy of this post, please see Florida’s inability to sell out it’s Sugar Bowl ticket alotment as Exhibit “A,” and the muted exuberance of the Gator Nation following our bludgeoning of an undefeated Cincinatti as Exhibit “B.”  No storming of the streets, few parties, and little more than a “phew” followed by a wipe of your nervous brow when Florida took early control of the game.

What makes this painful chronology worth recounting is the fact both the local heads, such as Dolley and Ackerman, and the fans are far more intrigued by this year’s Gators than last year’s juggernaut and in turn, far more excited.  Admittedly, this is strange considering the Gator Nation’s obsessive love affair the St. Tim of Tebow and the chance to repeat as CFB Champions, but true nonetheless.   

Naturally, the holdovers from the Spurrier era will counter this position by alleging that it never gets tired beating your rivals by 40 points.  While there is some merit to this, context must be added to fully understand while this doesn’t remain true today.  First, Spurrier was a veritable Moses, leading Florida to the promised land after years of plague, drought and famine.  For those old enough to remember the 80’s, pre-Spurrier Florida football was best characterized by the hapless Buck Belue’s improbable connection with Lindsay Scott for a 90 yard touchdown pass in the last seconds of the annual Florida-Georgia tilt.  Bye the bye, this heart-breaking play came at a time when the forward pass was akin to “cheating” in the SEC.  Add to the mix the fact that the SEC was much deeper in the 90’s, with Alabama, Tennessee, Georgia, Auburn, and LSU fielding top-10 outifts on a near annual basis.  And bye the bye, this was the apex Florida State’s former empire too.  Under these circumstances, 10-years or so of vanquishing your highly-ranked rivals in dramatic fashion and reveling in the lamentations of their fans was a necessary and soothing balm for the Gator Nation.

Today, however, Florida is one of a handful of programs that comprise the nation’s elite and the once deep SEC has seen hard times fall on once proud regimes in Auburn, Tennessee, and Georgia, and to a lesser extent, LSU.  Furthermore, FSU is a mere shadow of its former self.  All of which makes it nice, for a change, to harbor a shred of doubt as we head into 2010. 

Distilled to its core, this season is one of slightly reduced expectations, combined with an improved schedule and a new cast of Gators.  For example, Florida’s game with ‘Bama will be the first game the Gators aren’t favored to win in 2 years.  Florida St. whould be much better and, if you believe the premonitions of Dooley and Heath Cline, South Carolina and Georgia could be better than advertised too.  In addition, while few will outwardly admit it, there is a desire to see the return of the high-octane spread attack that catapulted Coach Meyer to prominence and most, if not many, think Brantley will drastically change the look of this team  by filling the air with tight spirals.  All told, it seems that the Coaches, Players, media and fans like this team and even better, feel like the Gators might be able to surpirse a few folks this year. 

The moral of the story, if you care for such things, is that uncertainty and occasionally, fear, have returned in 2010, and brought their old friend, anticipation along with them.         

News and Notes…Alabama’s QB wrecking cyborg of BCSCG fame, Marcel Dareus is practicing while the NCAA looks into him taking his talents to South Beach this summer…SEC Commish, Mike Slive, tacitly concedes that he boozed a bit when Kiffin left town…USC makes a run at its own brawl-a-palooza…Florida’s Chris Rainey intimates that there may have been some prima donnas on last year’s squad….and the first USA Today Coaches poll ranks the Gators at #3, which is 9 spots above Pat Dooley’s pre-season ranking. 

The Ole Miss rebels added Oregon’s black-balled QB, Masoli, to their roster officially.  Predictably, the message boards are rife with indignant football fans demanding an explanation for this moral outrage.  Really?  Can this possibly mean that there exists a faction of CFB fans who, despite the scope of the new TV deals and sky-rocketing salaries, believe there remains a place for moral conservatism in this game?

If so, we’ve got a word for you:  Idiot.  there’s better adjectives out there, like obtuse, vapid etc…, but we cater to our audience!

First, SI has a fairly in-depth piece that suggests that Masoli may not be as bad of a guy as we think he is.  Second, if Ole Miss goes 8-4 with that roster, Houston Nutt saves his 2+ milly-per-year gig in the Grove.  Think about it flock, what would you do to keep a job that paid a couple of million bucks?

If candor is among your traits- admittedly doubtful if you’re reading this post-you know you’d do a whole lot worse than play a QB busted for poaching a lap top from some rich frat-boy with a J. Crew sweater draperd over his narrow shoulders and later thrown off his former team for smoking a little tree.  

The question you should be asking yourselves, flock, is what wouldn’t you do to keep your $2 milly-per gig.  Short of sexual deviance or violent felonies is there anything?

We can say with certainty that the SNL-crew would do at least the following:

1.  Dine with Whitney Houston, Brigitte Nielson, and Lindsey Lohan (this assumes that all three order an appetizer of illicit prescription drugs).

2.  Take one of  OJ’s ex’s to dinner.

3.  Watch 2 episodes of the Jersey Shore.

4.  Vote for Obama, again!

5.  Lose a public race to Albert Haynesworth.

6.  Attend a weekend retreat with members of the most dangerous gang of narcissistic, amoral, lying thugs in the world, the U.S. Congress. 

You get the point?  This is big-boy football with big-boy money.  Ergo, your high-minded, white-gloved sanctimony, whether feigned or real, is wasted in the world of CFB.  Bye the bye, the players on your favorite team would just as soon kick you’re a** and make out with your girlfriend if ran into them at da’ club, Playa’, so put a sock in it.

Dr. Saturday’s recent post on Dooley’s (for those not in the know, Dooley is UT’s new football coach and thus charged with picking up the pieces of the Kiffin debacle) refusal to release Bryce Brown from his scholarship with Tennessee is illuminating, to say the least. 

Before we begin to dissect Dooley’s strained reason for keeping this kid under scholarship despite the fact that Brown has been by all accounts a diva, let’s be candid.  Refusing to let a 19-year old kid, even one with a track record as malcontent and prima donna, out of an obligation the kid made to the former coaching regime seems decidedly low-brow.   

For those on the outside, this scenario is simple and was best explained by the Notorious B.I.G. when he coined this philosophical gem:  “I don’t chase em’ I replace ‘em.”  And, for the generals of the nation’s elite programs in Gainesville, Austin, Norman, Columbus, and Tuscaloosa, this is undoubtedly the mindset.   

UT, however, seems to be saddled with esteem issues about now because its baby-daddy, Kiffin, left it for a better-looking girl.  For those in need of additional context, here’s a portal into Dooley’s implausible rationale: 

…Vols coach Derek Dooley said Friday that he will not release Brown from his scholarship.

“I have a lot of respect for Bryce as a person and a player,” Dooley said. “This is a professional decision, not a personal one.”

Dooley said he makes decisions on who to release based on three criteria: what was the player’s personal investment into the program; what harm the player’s departure would cause the program; and how the player handled the situation as a person.

“I have an obligation to protect the program,” said Dooley, who has released some players and declined to release others since taking over the Vols. “Bryce can still go to Kansas State but I’m not releasing him.”

Protect the program?  Really?  We all get it.  Your former hottie has moved on and undermined further the street-cred you had when you were relevant, and were on the cusp of gaining back as a result of Kiffin’s yapper.  Let’s assume for a second that this really is about teaching a 19-year old star athlete one life’s lessons.  How does it look to the rest of us?  Pathetic.  Even if Dooley were capable of articulating a well-reasoned basis to support these vague canons of integrity he’s espoused as his basis for denying this kid the opportunity to play in the Big 12 (which he can’t), this thing has the look of run of the mill Mel-Gibson’ish jealousy and pettiness on the part of UT.  Put another way, if the kid is as awful as you say he is then why not cut your losses and move on?  Better yet, why not key his car?  Or tell all your girlfriends he’s lousy in the sack?

The good Doctor sets forth some additional evidence which suggests that Dooley may have been less than honest with the media.  Quite candidly, the Doc’s piece not so tacitly suggests that Dooley may in fact be a jerk.  Make no mistake, we’re Gators at this site but a strong UT is good for all, so we’re not inclined to offer any opinions on this issue.  

The moral of the story, however, is that the appearance of pettiness and jealousy is just as damaging as the real thing.  So whatever your reasoning may be, Dooley, you look silly and the attention your bringing to a once proud program now under siege by the forces of mediocrity isn’t going to play well with 4 and 5-star studs on the recruiting trail, especially coming off a 6-6 season.  

Hate the playa’, Dooley, not the game.

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