Rebels

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  The embedded video is the only solace we can find in this week’s card, which is dreadful by any objective measure, at least from a purely aesthetic point of view.  Sure, there are a few jewels for those who, like SNL, are investment minded.  But all in all, most are free to make it a “Blockbuster Night.”  Not casting stones, but a heartfelt thanks to the SEC for trotting out another round of exhibition games, that goes for you too beloved Gators.   

Another round of applause for the Michigan and OSU programs for making this rivalry the Big 10 equivalent of UT v. Vandy, a more or less regional rivalry of no interest to anyone outside of Michigan and Ohio. Seems like only yesterday that the nation was hand-wringing in anticipation of this game, with E-SPIN prodding us along with a 48 hour “Countdown” clock.  Ahh….to be young again. 

Well, flock, we can all sit here and lament this lost weekend of football or we can seek to replenish our depleted emotional reserves in the manner that all Americans aspire to:  Helping others?  Fighting on?  Leading by example?  Don’t make me laugh.   By gambling on football on using the winnings to purchase ridiculous brand name crap we don’t need.  Let’s go…

Texas A & M (-6) v. Baylor: This is the official “My other car is…” game.  The implication, naturally, is that those who place one of these bumper stickers on  their cars don’t have an “other car,” and if they do, it’s a piece of crap.  Here, Baylor is the other car.  So, let’s complete the puzzle for the hard-of-thinking… Baylor’s other car is a myth or a piece of crap.  Aggies and the 12th man roll.

Vandy at UT (-17):  Another rivalry that isn’t.  This game is, however, a testament to SNL’s depravity, which is boundless.  Seriously, SNL hates Layla Kiffin’s Husband and his putrid program, but love UT against the spread.  The lesson?  Glad you asked:  Money trumps hatred.  UT wins big and all the convenience stores in Knoxville close the minute the game is over. 

LSU at Ole Miss (o42):  Ole Miss remains enigmatic and, like a heavily marketed Nick Cage flick, always seems to disappoint.  Still, McCluster is on a tear and LSU’s wideouts should have some success against the Rebs (assuming Jefferson plays).  And, the number seems relatively low.  In other words, there’s alot of ways to get to 42 points, especially with Dex on the field. 

Final thoughts…a moment of silence for the PAC 1+9, which is dead from a national perspective.  Doubters of the veracity of this statement are encouraged to check tomorrow’s ratings for the ‘Zona v. Oregon matchup, will whill be lower than the Fox rerun of Cops.  Love ‘em or hate ‘em, USC’s national cache’ was the only thing that kept the PAC-10 in the national consciousness. 

As for the Boise, TCU, Cincinatti debacle…does anyone really care?  TCU certainly passes the eyeball test and could probably play with any on the top-3, but Cinci and Boise seem woefully inept on the defensive side of the ball and to make matter worse for the smurf-turf bunch, the schedule is laughable, not matter how big the MOV.  Naturally, Boise will play some BCS school that is under-motivated and disinterested, and might even win.  Following which the Boise allegiant will trumpet their program as the equal of any while the more rational towns folk scoff. 

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: ATS, BCS, BIG 10, Boise, Degenerate Gamblers, Layla Kiffin, SEC, TCU, Urban Meyer

halloween-football.jpg Halloween football image by jazyjc We’ll get to Forida-UGA, but mindful of the need to get our investments called in to the local vig before noon EST, we’re all business this a.m. 

Housekeeping…like so many tattooed girls we’ve met in pool halls over the years, WVU excited us under cover of darkness only to disappoint when the lights came on.  In a related story, we’ve noted that this year more than last, even the most marginally compelling of matchups has seemed to find its way to primetime television this year, which makes for a horrible noon slate for watching and more importantly, gambling.  This is no doubt due in part to E-SPIN’s unholy matrimony with the SEC, and in part because the Big 11 is horrible TV rife with slow players, corpulent chicks, and teams exchanging buckets of spit and the like after every game.  So….only 2 nooners today…

Ole Miss (-5) v. Auburn:  The frosty-tipped heads at E-SPIN , when not busy sexing starry-eyed interns in Bristol to “learn” the ropes, have been lamenting the demise of Ole Miss since the Rebels went down to (that’s “to” not “on” degenerates) the OBC early this year.  Since then, Saban’s rowdy horde has plundered The Grove, which has further eroded any widespread support for Nutt and his cronies. 

Erstwhile, on the plains, Auburn’s gimmicky offense has fallen so far its advertising on Craig’s List for world series tix.  Today, Auburn can try to get their life back against the best defense in the SEC outside of Birmingham and Gainesville.  We smell R-E-L-A-P-S-E.  Ole Miss wins easy, Ole Miss -5.

Wisconsin (-7) v. Purdue:  Only 7?  Oh yeah, Purdue got lucky and beat OSU last week.  Won’t happen again.  Wizzy in a laugher.  Wisconsin -7.

GTU (-11.5) at Vandy:  Vandy, laughing stock of the SEC football fan and pride of the league’s scholastic sorts, did there best to ruin our ‘Tussin theory last week, when they covered against the OBC’s poor performing ‘Cocks.  While erratic performance is common in South Carolina, it isn’t in the ATL where GT’s flex-bone damn near always finds the right spot.  The ‘Tussin theory will be back after the Jackets hammer the ‘Dores tonight.  Back the truck up on this one.

We’ve got two more we’re eyeballing, but these should keep you busy while we talk to our sources on the ground. 

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: ACC, ATS, Bama, Degenerate Gambler, Degenerate Gamblers, SEC

Ole Miss (-4/53) at South Carolina:  Regular visitors know that SNL loves to write about USC for 2 reasons:  1) A soft spot for the OBC, a great Gator and a**-kicker of (former) Gator nemesis’, UGA and UT.   As fate would have it, tGeorgia SCarolina Footballhe OBC is under the Thursday Nite Lights again this very evening, taking on a top-5 club in Nutt’s Ole Miss Rebels.  Now the bulk of you will no doubt entertain yourselves with soophomoric hyperbole predicated on the fact that the Rebels’ Caoch is “Coach Nutt”, and the South Carolina mascot is “the Cocks”.  Hah, hah.  SNL would love to engage in this banal dribble, no sarcasm intended, except that he is trying to figure out an angle on this game from the more mature perspective, i.e. beating the spread.

Dr. Saturday has penned an erudite piece on this game, the thesis of which is that the Ole Miss “brand” (as opposed to USC, Florida etc…) has not been around long enough to embed itself in the collective consciousness of the college gamblers…err….fans.  Ergo, this spread is low-which it is-for a top-5 club on the road at an unranked opponent.  SNL tends to agree, which makes Ole Miss the play here-right?  Maybe not.  Spurrier still claims some cache’, at least offensively, and Nutt has shown a propensity to shoot too soon when playing the Cocks, as was the case last year when Ole Miss promptly lost to USC after narrowly defeating a turnover plagued Gator squad.  Ole Miss has also feasted on lightweights, Memphis and fill-in-the-direction Louisiana, which means we have no real objective measure to determine how good Ole Miss really is this year.  Ole miss did, however, give up a 179 yards rushing to Memphis, which may be a harbinger of this year’s rush defense.  Even so, the OBC’s Cocks aren’t known for exploiting up the middle, so this fact may bear little on tonight’s game.

The Cocks, after making all of us suffer through a 7-3 snoozer at NC St., lit up the scoreboard against UGA.  Problem is, everyone is lighting up the scoreboard against UGA this year.  Long gone are the days we can count on the OBC’s offensive genius to turn armless Qb’s into Heisman Trohpy winners.  In fact, about all we can count on from USC tonight is a bunch of un-funny puns employing the obvious double-meaning of the word “Cock”, as show more fully below. 

At the end of the day, there’s simply not enough of a resume here to head in either direction, which means a play on either side would be G-A-M-B-L-I-N-G to say the least.  Still, SNL knows that most of the flock are quaking like the dopers on intervention to put some “action” on tonight’s game.  You know who you are Mr. “debit-card-on-BoDog”, denial will only hurt you in the long run.  In effort to satisfy your fix, however, SNL will tell you that the “value” in this line is on the Under, based on Ole Miss’ perceived ability to score and the nationally televised USC’-UGA game, which produced around 80-points.  That said value is a relative term, and SNL is going to pray that the OBC can draw up some ball plays that will allow his Cocks to hang around, so if you must, takethe under and the points, and play small!! 

Flock, before you go doubling-down on your whole $31.00 bankroll tonight, please know that this weekend’s card is the best so far from an investment standpoint.  So be judicious in your investing.  Also, please note that SNL will not take credit-win or lose-for this pick, which is purely given to assuage the degenerates among you, who are many. 

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: BCS, Degenerate Gambler, Degenerate Gamblers, Rebs