The BCS is officially upon us and most, if not all CFB apologists, have long been innoculated from shock induced by the first official BCS poll, which has been shown to be anything but an edict once the final whistle blows.
That said this year’s inaugural BCS poll has illuminated a frightening possibility: Ohio State back in the BCS Title Game. Yep, the Buckeyes, emphatic losers on the biggest stage to Florida, LSU, and most recently, USC, are but one of several one-loss teams with a plausible shot at making it to Miami this January.
For fans of 10th-ranked Florida, OSU’s ranking gives rise to quite a conundrum. First, Florida must hope that the Buckeyes prevail over Joe Pa’s Lions this week as the Lions remaining schedule is miserable. This too, however, comes with a significant downside as an OSU win further bolsters USC’s standing. USC, like PSU, has a miserable schedule and should coast to 11-1, and like OSU, is ranked ahead of Florida.
This peculiar melding of time, space, and prose, could devolve into a scathing indictment of the Buckeyes, who have (somewhat unfairly) become the Buffalo Bills of our time. This wooden interpretation, however, sails wide right of the real culprit, the BCS and the resultant confusion for football purists, such as SNL.
For example, Florida fans must now root for FSU (ranked 25th), Alabama, and Georgia to bolster its strength of schedule and, oh yeah, try and win each game as convincingly as possible-which means kicking a late field goal if necessary to go up by 23 points (sorry Coach Shannon, this is big boy football).
This scenario comprises the Rubik’s Cube that is the BCS, at least for the contenders and their fans. Long gone are simpler times, when a loyal foot soldier of the Gators could in good-faith hope for the ‘Noles entire team to simultaneously combust or pray for Da’ U’s cranksters to be sentenced to 15 to life after being ensnared in a reverse cocaine sting in Coconut Grove.
Nope, today’s CFB landscape is rife with fleeting liaisons in early September that, like one night stands with your undergraduate neighbor, are interminable, at least until you move on to next season (or into a new apartment). Each week’s scores comprise layers upon layers of comparative data, used to feed software created by dorks and harnessed into computer polls that distill a finished product that seems strangely without any empirical worth whatsoever (see Ohio State ranked above USC as Exhibit “A”).
Naturally, those who are forced to endure a season’s worth of dashed hopes, missed chances, and crushed dreams can channel this clusterf*** into a positive. For example, fans of UM and the Vols can exalt in the fact that their suckitude is at least partly responsible for Florida’s lowly ranking. Ditto for the entire PAC-10 excluding the Men of Troy.
Irrespective, the sum of the BCS parts is to be villified for what it isn’t-an objective system that produces a champion by way of a playoff system. Nonetheless, proponents for the current system remain (though many are in hiding from November through January). Most vapidly tote the “its better than nothing” party line-the hell it is. SNL, for one, would rather return to the days of conference bowl affiliations and split titles than allow this charade to continue unfettered. Naturally, if Florida wins out and defeats an undefeated ‘Bama and by doing so reserves aspot opposite UT, OK, or USC in Miami, SNL will take it all back.
ERSTWHILE……
The delicate balance between good and evil has been restored, 
albeit temporarily, as ‘Bama’s behemoth defensive tackle, Mount Cody, is expected to miss 2-4 weeks with an MCL sprain. Naturally, this can be explained as simply “football,” or alternatively, a karmic event brought on by Darth Saban’s incessant pursuit of world domination. Either way, The Hat is probably feeling a little better about now.
Mizzou and Texas Tech are much worse than advertised, SNL expects both to be ranked no higher than 20th when the dust settles and won’t be surprised if one or both are unranked at some point.
Boomer Sooner Defense has surrendered damn near 1,000 yards in its last 2 games. SNL is well aware that the QB play in the Big 12 is superb this year, but remains resistant to the notion that the Big 12 offenses are so good that Oklahoma-whose coach made his way to the $4 million per year money train coaching defense-can’t hold the Jayhawks to under 491 yards. South Florida held the Jayhawks to 60 less yards than the bevy of blue chippers in Norman, fyi.
Finally, how good is Texas? Damn good. How’s that for genius insight?
-So Sayeth the Shepherd
The “Woodstock-esque” outpouring of love continues in Gainesville, much to the chagrin of SNL who no longer partakes in hippie lettuce and indiscriminate acts of coitus with strangers. 
