SNL has not yet had the opportunity to peruse the UM blogs, but judging by the increase in shootings in Dade County last night, fans of Da’U are placing their pride on display by doubling their meth intake. Seriously, regular visitors know SNL loves to lampoon Da’ U, but also counts himself as an objective observer and prognosticator extraordinaire when it comes to CFB. In effort to live up this admittedly self-proclaimed status and preserve what little respect fans of Da’ U appear to have for SNL, I must concede that Jacory Harris’ has emerged as the best quarterback in the ACC, and it’s not even close after Ponder’s performance against Jacksonville St.
Through 2 games, Harris is hitting 70 percent of his passes for 11 yards per attempt and 16 per completion, with what appears to be 4 or 5 completely interchangeable (and speedy ) wideouts, none of whom is a household name. Yet. To further bolster the internal pain of this admission, SNL will point-out that he viewed G.Tech as a worthy investment-op at +6. Apparently, there were many more non-believers, because this line dropped to 4 by game time, prompting SNL to greatly reduce his investment. Before Cane fans start offering hugs and congratulatory pats to SNL, please know that I continue have considerable disdain for the program, its fans, the City in general, which I was reminded of each time a sideline camera provided a glimpse of the gangsta’ fades sported by the Canes’ players a la Michael Irvin circa 1989. That said if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck…
Moving On….YTD dropped to 4-3 ATS (5-3 unofficially), which will make Vincenzo happy. For those visitors who have not made the lonely walk to the back of an Italian restaurant to pay an ex-wiseguy (I think it’s “ex”) for investment losses, let SNL assure you it is quite uncomfortable. However, what’s more uncomfortable is walking to the back of Sal’s Fine Italian Dining” (replete with red and white checkered tablecloths) to collect investment winnings from a wise guy. Here, the wise guy is Vinnie, who laughs without enthusiasm as he looks at his large, calloused hands and says without a smile, “[y]ou win any more kid, Vinnie’s gonna have to put these meat hooks around that tiny neck of yours.” The shrill laugh that follows is just as discomforting, but cracks up the 4 or 5 other guys in Vinnie’s inner-circle, each of whom looks like he has (and would again) “erased” a soul or 2. So, there is some silver lining to last night’s loss despite the blow to the ego.
Also, Mandel of SI fame has taken the torch for the PAC-10 in the now rote “who’s the best conference debate.” Mandel goes on to take a thinly veiled shot at the SEC and specifically, Florida, pointing out that the best way to have a good non-conference record is to schedule “Charleston Southern and Troy.” I have no problem with this because, well, it’s true. Charleston Southern is an embarrassing game for a program that considers itself among the nation’s elite, and SNL care not what “the other guys are doing.”
Even so, SNL likes and respects Gainesville Sun Sports Columnist, Pat Dooley, who in t turn speaks highly of Mandel. But SNL just cannot get behind Mandel on this or any other topic. This opinion was formed after a recent local sports radio appearance by Mandel, during which he seemed pained to be there and offered little other than some milk toast opinions about bowl tie-ins. SNL, like most of the audience, was longing for Stewie Griffin about 30 seconds into the interview. Couple that with the fact that Mandel, by virtue of his exalted status with si.com, has what amounts to a captive audience and uses this pulpit to promote his ridiculous “Mailbag Crush”, a sophomoric piece devoted to the adulation of a new up-and-coming starling each year, and SNL is pretty comfortable calling this guy a Jabrone. Sure, this opinion is tinged with jealousy because being a lead writer for si.com trumps life as a trial attorney, but objective evidence indicates I’m right on the money.
Finally…
Saturday’s Card is a tough one, with only 2 or 3 games that have any real appeal from an investment standpoint. SNL will get the card out tonight, but here’s what we’re looking at folks:
FSU @ The Mormons (-7)
Miss. St. (+9) @ Vandy
So. Miss (-15) v. UVulA
WVU (+7.5) @ Auburn
UGA (+2.5) at Arkansas
we’ll get these pared down to something respectable this evening. As always, comments, criticisms, and insights are welcome.
-So Sayeth the Shepherd
The season is a mere 2 weeks old and, as always, the drama of CFB has seen the fortunes of many diametrically altered in a span of 3 and a hal hours this past Saturday. In general, what stands out the most to SNL is not the ostensible resurgence of the Wolverines or comeuppance of the Houston Cougars, it’s the plodding inefficiency of specific regimes who thought they were something other than what they are, but are in reality, are who they already were. There’s also a few, who are what they never have been. Make sense? Let Me explain:
As SNL blogs, The Vest has unleashed the hounds, and finds the “good-against-everyone-who-is-not-good” Buckeyes positioned to vanquish the Men of Troy. Which, considering UCLA’s win over Kiffin’s Vols, is a good thing for all PAC 1+9 haters, present company included. The game has been a bit like Rocky III, where Stallone is clubbed like a baby seal by Clubber Lang (Mr. T) in the beginning, and preps for a rematch for about 2 horribly acted hours. During the rematch, Rocky is getting beat down by Clubber again but, thanks to Apollo Creed’s superb conditioning program (and a healthy dose of steroids), Stallone is capable of tasking Clubber’s best punches and after a few rounds, says “you ain’t so bad!”, smiling all the while. OSU gave up a quick pick and went down by y but, like the diminutive Stallone, has risen to the task, and leads by 5 midway through the 4th.
