FSU (+3) v. UNC: 
Was a time when FSU ruled the world relatively speaking, at least the world north of Coral Gables. Many won’t believe this, but it’s true. We here at SNL vividly recall numerous ACC beat-downs meted out by the ‘Noles, and few more handed to our beloved Gators.
Today, we here at SNL laugh and laugh some more at the futility of FSU football, which is like a turtle on its back about now. Naturally, it is not lost upon us that this would be funnier if FSU wasn’t getting a little laugh of its own by crushing Florida’s strength-of-schedule with each humiliating loss (and some victories). Still, it’s hard to not to empathize with the ‘Noles, at least for those who suffered through the Zook era, and Bowden remains the affable, grandfather that many of us never had.
None of which has a damn thing to do with tonight’s game, which pits former warden of Da’U penitentiary, Butch “I’ll find a way to make you eligible” Davis, against the affable old feller described above. True to form, the warden has a solid defense, full of criminal types capable of causing considerable duress amongst you suburbanites and your uptight wives. Problem is, Davis has yet to find a QB, and lacks the depth of criminals necessary to overcome this shortcoming on the offensive side of the ball.
FSU, conversely, has had a couple of weeks to bask in the implosion of their program, which has been a frightful site even for avowed ‘Nole haters. The fans are sick of Bowden, who now says he will be around for a “few years,” and their coach-in-waiting, Fisher, has shown nothing to indicate that he is the answer. Even so, ponderous sorts will ultimately find their way to the fact that Ponder is an above-average QB and ‘Noles offense is, in fact, pretty capable when it wants to be, which should be the case tonight. Look for the ‘Noles to rally around Bowden tonight, and win this game outright-but take the 3 points for good measure. FSU +3.
-So Sayeth the Shepherd
A flock member recently asked SNL “who his blog was intended for.” This innocuous query came after reviewing a particularly profane comment from an aggrieved felon..errr…fan of Da’ U. Naturally, the comment was replete with typos and misspellings-even the dirty words-so the authenticity of the fan’s allegiance was not in doubt (sorry, Chet, it’s the other fans of Da’ U that SNL is dissing). I managed to track the guy down using his e-mail and found him on Twittter. His “tweeting” mugshot revealed that he had frosted tips, which is the genesis of this post.
2. “I-post-mopey-messages-on-Facebook” Guy-this kills me. Seriously, who in the hell cares if you’re depressed, or “having the worst day of your pathetic life”? Publicly emoting via the internet is beyond any bounds of manhood. You’re so pathetic Frosted-tip-guy could kick your ass and you’re not welcome here.
The predictable unpredictability of this conference has become a constant since the demise of hegemonic powers,FSU and Da’ U, shortly following the new millenium. For fans of the league, the vacuum left in the wake of the vanquished former superpowers has resulted in an annual renewal of faith-based initiatives in hopes that the blue-chip apostles that once ruled this forgotten land will return to lead them to glory. To date, the prophecy remains unfulfilled and, absent a role as Indiana Jones’ sidekick, the ACC appears relegated to exist on the fringe of the BCS culture, at least for now. 
