Housekeeping…before we get to the picks, let’s clear the air on a few things that have upset members of the Flock. Enough about Spikes! It was a chippy game, he’s a good guy, and really, the only reason to be upset is because Pope Urban caved to pressure from national toolbags like Lupica, and Mike Golic and suspended him.
Golic, bye the bye, has confessed that in the days of yore’ he tried to choke a man in the pile a la John Wesley Harden of “Time Life Book Fame” (that’s right, the look and feel of hand-tooled leather!). If that’s not enough, Golic is corpulent and decidedly unfunny, and as clever as it may have been at the time for E-SPIN to pair the hefty, quasi-burly Golic with his effeminate, eunuch of a counterpart, the cache has long since passed and these two should fade quietly into the night only to be seen on reality TV.
Steve Czaban has also been openly critical Meyer, but he’s so damn funny, we here at SNL have turned the other cheek. Seriously folks, make the switch from “Tubby Mike and Skinny Mike,” and hit up the Czabe, it’s like going from box wine to Dom.
Finally…..remember and weep ye’ of the soft-heart…
Moving on….
Vanderbilt (+35) at Florida: Pops won’t like this pick, so it calls for an explanation. Some years ago, when Spurrier’s Gators were kicking the bejeezus out of everyone, Florida opened with a directional school and the spread was Florida -56!!! At the time, SNL had a policy of not picking for or against the Gators, even against the spread.
The following Tuesday, SNL presented at the rear of Sal’s “Fine Italian Eatery” to fork over some hard earned dough to Vinnie “Hands” Moresci, who sat smugly at his table as he always did (and does)-as he should because he’s always flanked by at least two Italians who are north of 250 lbs. and look they would poke your eyes out with an icepick if Vincenzo gave them the nod.
I counted out my losses (SNL wasn’t as sharp back then) and Vincenzo said, “Why’nt take Northern Illinois (or whoerver it was) kid?”
“I don’t bet against Florida,” I mumbled in reply.
“Let me ask you somethin’ kid,” Vinnie said in a way that let me know he wasn’t really “asking” me anything, ““When’s the last time the Florida Gators bought you a steak dinner?”
The Florida Gators still haven’t spung for the steak, and the lesson has stuck with me. And that, Flock, is what we call “the moral of the story.”
Today, I get my steak, Vandy covers, 42-13.
Oklahoma (-5) at Nebraska: SNL had an epiphany of sorts last week while watching Nebraska squeak past Baylor: Nebraska’s offense sucks. An equal but opposite (at least for today) truth occurred some weeks ago when watching Oklahoma: Oklahoma’s defense is gooood. That Flock, is what we call “science.” and SNL is in love with this pick. Lay the 5 with confidence and while you’re watching your investment mature, think about how horrible that Big 12 Championship Game is going to be.
Northwestern (+15.5) at Iowa: Ahhhh, the chic conundrum that is Iowa. What do we do with them? Where do they rank? How good are they? These enigmatic Hawkeyes have vexed the hard-of-thinking national heads, like Mandel, and Feinbaum, but not us. Quick digression, SNL once met a whole busload of Iowa sorority girls at St. Augustine beach, and nary a one was hot. Saddest day of my then eighteen year existence.
Here’s your answer Flock. Iowa is ok, but SNL believes we should ride the doggies until Iowa gets some hot chicks or shows some signs of consistent quarterback play, we’ll keep taking the points.
Houston (-1) at Tulsa: Like Terrelle Owens and Lindsey Lohan, Tulsa is living on reputation of years past. Houston, conversely, hasn’t been seen much since Phi Slamma Jamma and cell phones the size of shoe boxes were sweeping the nation. Keenum for Heisman!! Kidding aside, this is another pick we feel pretty strongly about.
As always, these picks are for entertainment purposes only and comments are welcome. We’ll check back later to see how the Flock is making out.
-So Sayeth the Shepherd