The predictable unpredictability of this conference has become a constant since the demise of hegemonic powers,FSU and Da’ U, shortly following the new millenium. For fans of the league, the vacuum left in the wake of the vanquished former superpowers has resulted in an annual renewal of faith-based initiatives in hopes that the blue-chip apostles that once ruled this forgotten land will return to lead them to glory. To date, the prophecy remains unfulfilled and, absent a role as Indiana Jones’ sidekick, the ACC appears relegated to exist on the fringe of the BCS culture, at least for now.
ACC Coastal:
The 2008 season has seen the Baby ‘Canes stage a fleeting coup by playing well at The Swamp, only to return to ignonymity following home losses to FSU and UNC. The fraction (and SNL uses this term loosely as there is only so many ways you can divide 200 fans) of UM fans who remained optimistic following the home losses, which was likely small to begin with, was further eviscerated following last week’s “close call” against a bad UCF team.
The sum of the distilled parts yields a program that appears no closer than it was in 2006 or 2007 to approaching its previous grandeur. Miami is dead last in a division that houses Virginia and Coach Shannon, whose most astute strategic decision came when he publicly decried Florida’s audacious kicking of a late field goal last month, appears to be outclassed by the opposing coach every weekend-which is a sad state of affairs considering that the ACC coaches, while good, are hardly comparable to the ueber coaches that roam the sidelines of the Big 12 and SEC.
Rule of thunb: If you can be nearly bedeviled by George “Where’s my Dewar’s” O’Leary, you are not prepared to Coach major college football.
Today, the boyish enthusiasm engendered by the loss at The Swamp has disappeared like the rimmed up Maxima you parked in a public lot on South Beach, and UM seems destined to languish in obscurity for several more years (and quite possibly longer), at least when it comes to football.
Thus, to the undoubted dismay of the braintrust that restructured the ACC, all hopes for a quick return to relevancy rest far from the new porn capital that is South Beach, somewhere between Atlanta and Blacksburg in fact. 18th-ranked V. Tech continues to win albeit in uninspiring ways against largely uninspiring opponents; G. Tech has a dominant defense and appears poised to make a run at the Division title under its new Coach; 21st-ranked UNC is thwarting the gods of hue by making powder blue an intimidating color; Duke is improved; and, Virginia, after a horrifying start, is posturing to become something that resembles “presentable.”
With wins over the only teams with a viable chance of dethroning them, the Hokies are all but guaranteed a spot in the title game which in turn all but guarantees that Alltel Stadium will look largely as it did last year (see above).
Nonetheless, the ACC Coastal has evolved into a reasonably good division in a very bad conference. This seeming oxymoron is justified by the ACC Atlantic’s lack of anything resembling a football team outside of Wake Forest and arguably, Tallahassee. Nonetheless, much like the upcoming presidential election, there exists nothing on the horizon to capture the imagination of the independent voters, who continue to prefer the cannabilistic rituals of the Big 12 and SEC over the “soft-core” ACC. If you’re looking for solace, at least the ACC can say it’s better than the Pac-10.
-So Sayeth the Shepherd
