SNL’s apologies for the length of time between posts. For the record, you can chalk it up to the usual litany of grown-man issues: attention starved (but hot) wife; attention starved (but adorable) 1 yr-old son; and attention starved cases requiring maintenance in the form of mediations, motions, demands and the like. Oh yeah, as evidenced below, SNL has also been forced to endure the South Beach diet, with admittedly stunning results, as you can see.
Naturally, SNL remains receptive to employment overtures from any mainstream media outlet. Hell, he’d even goose step amongst the E-SPIN propagandists for a pittance…
There have been a number of inquiries since my last post-well, 10 to be exact. Most were flattering calls for a speedy return from adoring readers. The other 7 were typical ‘Bama fan vitriole calling for SNL’s death, threatening his family, and attacking his sexuality based on nothing more than his allegiance to his alma mater and unfettered hatred for the state of Alabama, its corpulent populace, 3-legged dogs, litter, love of fried shit, cigarettes and Code Red Mountain Dew, and most of all, its football team.
Interesting to note that the calls and e-mails from SNL’s Gator constituency continue to center around ‘Bama which means that, predictably, the Gators have discarded the viability of a ‘Nole (or Citadel) upset next week. Go figure.
THE PICKS…
3-2 last week which means the wisby (This is a nickname SNL’s wife made for herself. It is typically accompanied by a “husby,” which is SNL. Embarrassing, but true.) is unlikely to receive her diamond earrings from Santa-husby. But also means SNL does not owen Vincenzo any scratch and not in danger of losing a limb.
UW (-7.5) at Wazzou: “This is a rivalry game…you can throw the records out the window…blah, blah, blah.” These teams are a combined 1-20. The gamewill not be televised nor would anyone watch if it were. However, the winner of this game will be unofficially crowned the “second worst BCS team in 2009.” This, friends, is a distinction worth fighting for! Washington has been competitive of late, leading ‘zona in the 3rd quarter, and wants to send off Willingham in style. Wazzou is lifeless, like a passed out tri-delt at homecoming. Huskies roll!!!
Illinois v. Northwestern (+2.5): Wrong team favored. SNL wathced Zookers clubs quit on him for years and knows the recipe well. Last week’s loss to the Buckeyes ensured that the Zookers will lie down this Saturday like the doormat bombshell that keeps letting you come over at 2:00 a.m. to say “hi.” What’s her number again?
UT at Vandy (-3.5): The Commies exact their revenge for years for years of futility by beating the poopie out of Foolmer’s despondent group. For UT, the season mercifully ends-which is the only thing anyone dressed in that godawful neon orange cares about. Vandy, conversely, is taking their geniusness bowling! Viva la revelucion’!
Ole Miss (+7) at LSU: If this needs explaining, SNL cannot help you. Ole Miss may well win this game outright. For those playing with house money, throw some on the moneyline. Nutt’s boys are headed to 8-4 and a top-25 ranking before its all said and done.
T.Tech (+7) v. Oklahoma: This one is dicey, but a touchdown seems awful generous. On the other hand, Tech hasn’t played anyone worth a damn outside of Lubbock, which makes Columbus (Ohio) look like gay Paris’ by the way.
After beginning the week with a 2-0-1 Thursday night card, SNL was lambasted Saturday (1-2) and ended up 3-3-1 for the week. Hitting 50% will keep you “in the game,” (as will “Just for Men”) for awhile, but won’t put you in position for profligate (look it up) spending unless you are independently wealthy or an AIG executive.