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The Rest of Saturday’s Card,a word on the Gators, and an ode to Jimmy the Greek…

November 14, 2009 in ACC, ATS, BCS, E-SPIN, Gameday, Gators, Main Content, PAC 1 + 9, PAC 10, SEC | 2 comments

Phew…we at SNL have been running amok about the state of Florida this week.  Why you ask?  To bring you the very best in breaking CFB news and information?  Which you, loyal members of the flock can then parlay into a nifty nest egg to be frivolously spent on booze, rims, and Affliction gear  that matches your barbwire tattoo?  Not even close.

Still, we’ve managed to find a little time to put together a palatable slate of plays for those of you interested in this sort of thing…you know who you are, you’re called “degenerates” by people of good repute.

Florida at USC (+17.5):  We posted earlier this week on what a strange year this has been for the Gator allegiant.  Like Dickinson said many years ago…It was the best of times, it was the worst of times… 

What we expect is more of the same from our beloved Gators…good defense and so many field goals you’ll feel like your watching Australian Rules…Throw in the slugger’s chance you always have when The Visor is pacing the sidelines with his diabolical playbook and the fact the ‘Cocks are pretty stiff at home (who can resist?), and we’ll take the generous 17 plus the hook. 

Afterwards, we’ll join the rest of the Gators in listening stone-faced to Urban’s typical, taciturn post-game press conference which will include some variation of the following statement “that was Florida football out there, field position, protect the ball, and good defense,” and if we’re lucky to catch our stoic leader on a peppy day, something like “any win in the SEC is a good win.”  He’ll be right of course, but we’ll still feel like we just took a smokin’ hot girl to a $200.00 dinner at Ruth’s Chris and didn’t even get a kiss at the door. 

Florida 23-13, and don’t bother DVR’ing the game, you won’t want to watch it twice.

Utah (+20.5) at TCU:  We here at SNL love us some Utes.  No, not because they were kind of enough to give us Urban Meyer in exchange for a truckload of money.  Rather, our love is founded on irony:  As in, “it’s ironic that the Utes do not aspire to the ethnic and religious homogeneity of their sister university, BYU.”  Because of this willingness to embrace athletes who are more err….athletic- yea! That’s it…athleitc!!-than those of the Provo variety, the Utes can hang around with TCU.   Here’s to you Jimmy the Greek!

TCU 28-13…buy the hook an make sure you get the three touchdonwns, you’ll be white-knuckling until the end of this one.

The Best of the Rest:

Miss St. (+12.5) over ‘Bama

Da’U v. UNC o44

Stanford (+10.5) over the Boy-Troys

Notre Dame (+7) over Pitt…

-So sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: ACC, ATS, Bama, BCS, Degenerate Gamblers, Gators, Horned Frogs, Meyer, Spurrier, USC, Utes

Welcome to the Flori-Bama: The Parallels Continue for the Tide and Gators

October 16, 2009 in ACC, Degenerate Gamblers, Dr. Saturday, E-SPIN, Gators, Main Content, Notre Dame, PAC 1 + 9, UGA | No comments

For those members of the flock that are hard-of-thinking, the foregoing picture is a metaphor for last Saturday’s “showdowns,” which turned out to be beatdowns, but provided the home teams fan base with a great chance to drink excessively. 

SNL recently posted on the “Flori-Bama”.  This quasi-clever moniker (which is also the name of a world famous bar on the state line) is SNL’s way of saying that Florida and Alabama are equal but opposite reciprocals of one another, and on a collision course for ATL and in turn, the BCSNCG. 

For the most part, the similarities were obvious before last week, when both Alabama and Florida shut down top-20 teams on the road in the most pugilistic of ways, stifling defenses and plodding, conservative offenses with a run-first philosophy.  Sure there are other similarities; both programs are helmed by taciturn, tight-lipped, control freaks who lord over their respective programs (and states for that matter) like medieval warlords and both fan bases are beyond fervent.  For the most erudite Florida fans, the fact that the Gators under Pope Meyer are a single-wing, power running team (and have been for awhile now) that is thinly camouflaged by offensive sets with wide receivers running thither and yon, is not only no surprise, but is welcomed. 

For many, however, this concept is upsetting.  This is particularly true amongst those who still recall with giddy reverie the days when the OBC would fill the air with footballs.  Be that as it may, SNL has accepted if nt embraced the fact that Meyer’s Gators are and will likely remain a team created in ‘Bama’s image-which is a good thing.  And, when these titans meet in the ATL this year, the collision will be epic-though the scoreboard may not reflect the genius of the respective generals on each sideline. 

SNL’s prescience has lost some of its shine now that the mainstream heads at si.com and E-SPIN have jumped on the bandwagon, but we will continue to site to our previous post as evidence that we were way out in front of this story. 

Well, flock, the parallels between the SEC behemoths continues this week when Alabama hosts USC and Florida hosts Arkansas.  For the records, Vegas has made ‘Bama a mere 17-point favorite over USC, and Florida a whopping 24-point favorite over the Hawgs.  The camps of both underdogs are predictably mum on the chances for an upset, and who can blame them.  More on the actual matchups later, let’s do some housekeeping. 

Last week, 7-4 ATS, 18-13 YTD.  By now, most teams are who we thought they were, and the wins are starting to come at a pace which will have the wifey in some new jewelry at season’s end.  SNL’s winning percentage in year’s past has been roughly 57% in weeks 1 through 5, and 67% in weeks 5 through 14.  Se we expect to keep on rolling.

Dis and Dat….The wheels remain intact in Athens, but barely.  Too bad because even the most calloused Gator fan can see that Richt is a good Coach and a better person.  Still, the fratricide of the SEC is unrelenting and losing to Layla Kiffin’s husband will fire up any fan base because, well, that guy’s a total jackass.  Speaking of wheels, another tough week for the ‘Noles, losing at home to Tech having been compounded by the details of the cheating schedule.  Far be it for SNL to pile on, but if you’re going to give scholarships to players who read a second-grade level (after a few years of “college” no less), you should have the common decency to be a good football team.  On the upside, by virtue of consistently sucking for 5-years or so, no one is saying that the “wheels are coming off” in Tallahassee, that ship has sailed. 

Erstwhile…Da’ U will be without 4 starters when it visits UCF tomorrow, which won’t matter, and USFwas rolled at home by Cincinnati, a fact which is further illustrative of FSU’s precipitous fall from grace since, you know, the Bulls crushed the ‘Noles in Doak with a Backup QB a few weeks back.  Finally, this is a grand week for all of CFB.  Why?  Because Notre Damehas to play USC, which will effectively foreclose any more talk of the Clausen-for-heisman, a loss for the limousine industry, but a win for Irish-haters everywhere.  The downside, of course, is the inevitable “USC is playing as well as anyone in the country right now,”  which will be a talking point for all of the frosted tipped fellows at E-SPIN. 

Picks out tomorrow…

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: ATS, Degenerate Gambler, DEGENERATES, Layla Kiffin, Noles, PAC 1+9, SEC, Spurrier, The Hat, UGA, Urban Meyer, USC

Thoughts from opening night…and a failure to communicate.

September 4, 2009 in ATS, BCS, Main Content, PAC 1 + 9, Pope Meyer, SEC | No comments

  Scroll to the :55 mark and you can see the straight right to the mouthy Boise St. player.  Naturally, this sort of thing cannot be condoned-especially when the right hand was delivered backing away, which any MMA guy will tell you makes the blow more of b**** slap than a punch.  Even so, when SNL looks at Boise’s remaining schedule and considers how all of the E-SPIN heads are going talk about Boise’s right to play in BCBS, he too feels like punching a Bronco player.

Depending on where you sit-geographically-last night’s Boise-Oregon tilt can be interpreted as a referendum of Boise’s continued ascendancy to CFB’s elite, or the impotence of every PAC-10 team outside of Poodle Pete’s wrecking crew.  Whether rooted in fact or fiction, the fact of the matter is that the PAC-10 had yet another chance to embed a second team into the national psyche and failed to do-and quite miserably at that.  Oregon was never in this game and looked less physical and slower than the smurf-turf boys from Boise.  And, while there is no doubt Boise is a top-25 program, they really cannot be considered an elite program until they play an elite schedule, i.e. a schedule with 4 or 5 top-20 teams.  So for now, the PAC 10 remains the PAC 1+9 and what’s worse-for Duck fans anyway-is that Oregon maybe this year’s Michigan.

If there’s an upside for the PAC 1+9, it has to be the continued impotence of Spurrier’s Cocks (enjoy the admittedly sophomoric play on words, Pierce), who used short field to score there only touchdown in the 1st Quarter and hung on to win 7-3.  Using the sitcom baromerter, Oregon’s pathetic showing was Everybody Loves Raymond as compared to USC/NCST’s Two and a Half Men.

Seriously, SNL was ready to extract his own tooth by halftime, and midway  through the third, was looking for his son’s Finding Nemo video to dull the pain.  Having grown up as a veritable witness of Spurrier’s “offensive genius,” SNL is greatly pained by the slow, tortuous demise of Spurrier’s offense and his aura.  Truth be told, watching USC is like watching an ex-girlfriend that dumped you unexpectedly get fat.  However, because you are now with the hottest girl in town, you wish the ex well and thus do not get the smug satisfaction you would otherwise have.  About the only plus for SEC homers is that the conference is 1-0, albeit in a way that feels a lot like o-1. 

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: PAC 1+9, PAC 10, SEC, Spurrier

GATORS v. USC: REAL ‘BAMA PLEASURE, WITHOUT LIGHTING UP

November 11, 2008 in E-SPIN, Gators, Main Content, Pope Meyer, SEC, Saban, TV SCHEDULE | No comments

 
SNL would be remiss were he to fail to comment on the unisoned euphoria gripping the Gator faithful this week.  Like a corpulent man atop a bed of doughnuts, the Gator Nation is fat, happy and complacent.  If the local airwaves are a fair indicator, and they usually are, the bulk of the Gators nation is far more concerned with Florida’s BCS opponent than it is with the remaining foes, which include three ranked teams-one of whom, you might have noticed, is #1.   
This is, after all, the “way of things” since Spurrier’s era of hegemonic dominance was followed up with Urban’s immediately gratifying 2006 title, and it really pisses SNL off.  Why?  Because South Carolina has won 5 in a row, and FSU lies in wait.  Both ranked, both good, and both looking to make their season by beating Florida. 
And yet, the bulk of Gator fans, lin true nuovo riche fashion, are busy booking rooms in Miami-when not discussing the margin of victory of the pending SEC title game, of course.  The whole thing is enough to make you sick.  The only solace for those who, like SNL, know that significant heavy lifting remains, is that Pope Meyer will pull every string possible to create a Chinese wall between the fans (and the pundits driving this vehicle) and using sheer will if necessary, exhort his team to victory this Saturday.  Speaking of which…
South Carolina is good.  In fact, South Carolina is every bit the equal of Gator-nemesis, ‘Bama, on the defensive side of the ball.   Don’t believe it?  South Carolina is 3rd inthe Country in total defense; ‘Bama is 4th.  South Carolina is 10th in scoring defense; ‘Bama is 7th.  If you want to split hairs, ‘Bama holds teams to about 30 yards less per game rushing than the Cocks (which means the Cocks hold teams to about 30 yards less passing). 
The real significance, however, of Saturday’s contest for the Gators, particularly when Florida has the ball, is that USC (like ‘Bama) runs a 3-4 as its base defensive scheme.  This is somewhat unusual, and allows for a multitude of defensive looks and blitz packages.  Given that the personnel for USC and ‘Bama are roughly commensurate, at least statistically, Florida should be able to assess what it can do in the ATL and get a jump on their gameplan for the Tide. 
For fans not concerned about base sets, coverage techniques, and other technical minutiae, the foregoing can be interpreted as follows:  South Carolina’s defense is the best defense UF has faced this year, and its not even close (Sorry, LSU).  So don’t expect a Vandy-ish, or even a Geargia-ish offensive performance Saturday.  In fact, expect the opposite.  Field position, turnovers, and grinding, lengthy drives should be the norm this Saturday.  UF should prevail by a resaonably comfortable margin of 14-17 points, but it won’t come early, and it won’t come easy.
So, Gators, stop running around agog like the hottest girl in school accepted your lascivious-based offer to escort her to prom, and put on your big boy pants.  There’s time enough to worry about ‘Bama and the Big 12 later.
-So Sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: Pope Meyer, SEC, Spurrier, USC

WEEK 2: THURSDAY’S WHITE KNUCKLE SPECIAL!

September 4, 2008 in Degenerate Gamblers, Main Content, SEC | 1 comment

SNL YTD Record:  4-1 ATS

  To your left is Vandy’s stadium-expect at least 2,000 times the amount of fans shown tonite.  Moving on:

South Carolina (-10/41o) at Vandy:  Vandy throttled MAC favorite, Da’ Lil’ U, last week by rushing for 270 yards (nearly 5.4 yards per carry) and some big plays on special teams.  Vandy’s defense allowed only 13 points, and intercepted the Red Hawks 3 times-but allowed almost 4 yards per rush and 244 yards through the air. 

Spurrier’s Cocks’ throttled what has to be the ACC’s worst team 34-0 on national television.  In doing so, they racked up 171 yards rushing and 198 yards passing, the majority of which were accumulated late in the game when Smelley took control of the offense. Those who witnessed this game, however, were left feeling that the Cocks’ performance was not nearly as dominant as the final score indicated-probably because NCSU is horrible.

The Line:  The Vegas overlords have graciously bestowed upon their unwitting subjects a 10 point line.  In SNL’s not-so-humble opinion, this line is roughly a field goal off, due in large part to Vandy’s somewhat impressive (but unseen by most fans) victory as a 4 to 5 point dog last week.  SNL had this game closer to 12 to 12.5, but hey, SNL is only 4-1 ATS.  This game is a pass as far as a side is concerned.  Nonetheless, if you are a irredeemable degenerate gambler, you should know that home field at Vandy is pathetic-unless, of course, you are scared of about 5,000 nerds in sweater vests.  And, since Vandy has lost the bulk of its front 7 on defense (which sacked SC QB’s 7 times in last years meeting), SC is the better reasoned pick, even laying the heavy road chalk.  That said SNL will not risk sullying its stellar reputation (did I mention 4-1 in week 1) and will be passing on a side.

The more interesting angle here is the total, which the amoral Vegas’ oddsmakers have set at an “NFL’esque” 41.  How, praytell, did this total get so low? For starters, there’s last year’s barn burner, which saw a total of 23 points scored in one of the most pathetic television shows since Eight is Enough.  Throw in, for shits and giggles, SoCo’s 1st half woes last week and Vandy’s low-tech passing attack versus a stiff Cock (you love it) run D, and you can see what Vegas is thinking.

SNL, however, is not so easily thrown off the scent, and smells a coming out party for Smelley and his gang of odiferous Cocks.  Vandy’s lack of pass rush should aid Smelley to throw for 3 TD’s and, assuming Vandy can muster up 2 TD’s at home, SNL, ever the iconoclast,  will boldly go with the OVER!

Pick:  SC v. Vandy o41.

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: ATS, SEC, Spurrier