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In Spikes’ Defense…

November 4, 2009 in E-SPIN, SEC, UGA | No comments

EaleySpikes Sure, two wrongs don’t make a right and yada, yada, yada.  But it seems to use here at SNL that the foregoing is pictorial evidence that suggests the Ealey may have been giving a few Florida players, including Spikes’ bestest bud, Haden, the business on Saturday.  True, we’ve got no temporal sense of when this fracas occurred, but it seems reasonable to assume it occurred before Brandon “The Velociraptor” Spikes went Mike Tyson on Ealey’s orbs. 

This will please Pops, who as noted, doesn’t typically accept with aplomb foul play on the part of his beloved Gators (and quite often closes his eyes and ears and yells la, la, la, la at the top of his lungs when bad behavior on the part of the Orange and Blue is afoot).  As an added benefit, this fine photograph seems to mitigate if not exonerate poor Mr. Spikes, who has been beset by naysayers of the E-SPIN variety since this issue blew up last weekend.  We just knew that no man worthy of the Orange and Blue would stoop to such levels unprovoked.  Right?

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: Ealey, Gators, Spikes, UGA

Welcome to the Flori-Bama: The Parallels Continue for the Tide and Gators

October 16, 2009 in ACC, Degenerate Gamblers, Dr. Saturday, E-SPIN, Gators, Main Content, Notre Dame, PAC 1 + 9, UGA | No comments

For those members of the flock that are hard-of-thinking, the foregoing picture is a metaphor for last Saturday’s “showdowns,” which turned out to be beatdowns, but provided the home teams fan base with a great chance to drink excessively. 

SNL recently posted on the “Flori-Bama”.  This quasi-clever moniker (which is also the name of a world famous bar on the state line) is SNL’s way of saying that Florida and Alabama are equal but opposite reciprocals of one another, and on a collision course for ATL and in turn, the BCSNCG. 

For the most part, the similarities were obvious before last week, when both Alabama and Florida shut down top-20 teams on the road in the most pugilistic of ways, stifling defenses and plodding, conservative offenses with a run-first philosophy.  Sure there are other similarities; both programs are helmed by taciturn, tight-lipped, control freaks who lord over their respective programs (and states for that matter) like medieval warlords and both fan bases are beyond fervent.  For the most erudite Florida fans, the fact that the Gators under Pope Meyer are a single-wing, power running team (and have been for awhile now) that is thinly camouflaged by offensive sets with wide receivers running thither and yon, is not only no surprise, but is welcomed. 

For many, however, this concept is upsetting.  This is particularly true amongst those who still recall with giddy reverie the days when the OBC would fill the air with footballs.  Be that as it may, SNL has accepted if nt embraced the fact that Meyer’s Gators are and will likely remain a team created in ‘Bama’s image-which is a good thing.  And, when these titans meet in the ATL this year, the collision will be epic-though the scoreboard may not reflect the genius of the respective generals on each sideline. 

SNL’s prescience has lost some of its shine now that the mainstream heads at si.com and E-SPIN have jumped on the bandwagon, but we will continue to site to our previous post as evidence that we were way out in front of this story. 

Well, flock, the parallels between the SEC behemoths continues this week when Alabama hosts USC and Florida hosts Arkansas.  For the records, Vegas has made ‘Bama a mere 17-point favorite over USC, and Florida a whopping 24-point favorite over the Hawgs.  The camps of both underdogs are predictably mum on the chances for an upset, and who can blame them.  More on the actual matchups later, let’s do some housekeeping. 

Last week, 7-4 ATS, 18-13 YTD.  By now, most teams are who we thought they were, and the wins are starting to come at a pace which will have the wifey in some new jewelry at season’s end.  SNL’s winning percentage in year’s past has been roughly 57% in weeks 1 through 5, and 67% in weeks 5 through 14.  Se we expect to keep on rolling.

Dis and Dat….The wheels remain intact in Athens, but barely.  Too bad because even the most calloused Gator fan can see that Richt is a good Coach and a better person.  Still, the fratricide of the SEC is unrelenting and losing to Layla Kiffin’s husband will fire up any fan base because, well, that guy’s a total jackass.  Speaking of wheels, another tough week for the ‘Noles, losing at home to Tech having been compounded by the details of the cheating schedule.  Far be it for SNL to pile on, but if you’re going to give scholarships to players who read a second-grade level (after a few years of “college” no less), you should have the common decency to be a good football team.  On the upside, by virtue of consistently sucking for 5-years or so, no one is saying that the “wheels are coming off” in Tallahassee, that ship has sailed. 

Erstwhile…Da’ U will be without 4 starters when it visits UCF tomorrow, which won’t matter, and USFwas rolled at home by Cincinnati, a fact which is further illustrative of FSU’s precipitous fall from grace since, you know, the Bulls crushed the ‘Noles in Doak with a Backup QB a few weeks back.  Finally, this is a grand week for all of CFB.  Why?  Because Notre Damehas to play USC, which will effectively foreclose any more talk of the Clausen-for-heisman, a loss for the limousine industry, but a win for Irish-haters everywhere.  The downside, of course, is the inevitable “USC is playing as well as anyone in the country right now,”  which will be a talking point for all of the frosted tipped fellows at E-SPIN. 

Picks out tomorrow…

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: ATS, Degenerate Gambler, DEGENERATES, Layla Kiffin, Noles, PAC 1+9, SEC, Spurrier, The Hat, UGA, Urban Meyer, USC

News and Notes: ACC Roulette, UT still after Meyer, and Da’U returns (again)…

October 5, 2009 in ATS, BCS, Dr. Saturday, Main Content | No comments

SNL watched a ton of football yesterday, going 2-1 on posted picks and 4-0 on night games (sorry, Flock, wasn’t near the computer).  The season record is running in the red again at 10-9 officially and 16-10 unofficially (for the record, “unofficial” games are games played but not posted before kickoff).

Moving on….after teasing its dwindling fan base with a bludgeoning of the morally sound but physically inept Latter Day Saints in Provo, FSU has returned to form, losing to 2 underdogs in a row.  For those who enjoy reveling in FSUs malaise, revel in this:  FSU is now 0-2 in the ACC and 12-14 in league play since 2006.  And, were it not for a last second comeback against I-AA Jacksonville St., the Noles would be 1-4 at the mid-point of the season.

For Gator fans, like SNL, FSU’s impotence is disappointing on two fronts:  First, Florida’s SOS is taking a severe beating as a result of FSU’s fee-fall.  Gone are the days when Florida could point out that it’s non-conference slate, however pathetic (and it often is), included a year-end date with an in-state rival and powerhouse FSU. 

Second, and much more upsetting to the Gator-alleginat, hating the ‘Noles is essentially a politically incorrect position about now, like hating Nemo because of his “special fin” or Charlie Sheen because he’s rich for sucking at acting  Hell, SNL may spear-head a canned good drive for the ‘Noles if they get any worse, which they apparently have in the last 24 hours due to a prominent booster’s public call for an end of the Bowden era.  The student-body has also chimed in with this fine piece of work:

Always the optimist, a seemingly giddy Bowden was overheard telling a local reporter that “[t]his was the third best game I’ve ever been a part of this year,” and “Lord loves a workin’ man.”   Seriously?  Coach, with all due respect, you’re becoming the ex that won’t accept the break-up and keeps showing up at the front door unannounced with a cheesy gift.  If you love something, set it free…

Shifting back into cerebral mode, does FSU even keep Fisher at this point?  This is a fine mess. 

Erstwhile…Coach Kiffin and his Jolly Vols dropped another home game, this one to conference rival Auburn.  Coach Kiffin now boasts-literally, he “boasts”-a 7-19 record as a head coach, and the Vols remain winlesst in the conference.  “Still, we coulda’ lost that sucker by 20 or 30 points,” said a jubilant Coach Kiffin after the loss, “so I consider this a moral victory for this program.”  You heard it here folks, UT is now 4-1 when factoring in its “moral” victories.    Not to worry, the gushing UT contingent was hosting a bevy of high-caliber recruits and, after showing a promotional video on the stadium big screen, faded with the image of Pope Urb to the delight of the frenzied crowd, proving once again that hurling empty taunts at America’s best CFB program is way more entertaining that watching UT football.  SNL, too, pokes fun at those who are better looking, have more money, success, fame, and prospects, so there’s some empathy here.  That said the Vols must realize that their unbridled hatred for Pope Meyer is a tacit admission of what they know to be true deep in side their tattered souls:  UT is horrible-still.

Seriously, the Vols host UGA this week (a pick’em according to Vegas Hilton), and SNL expect the Kiffinwill be 0-3 in the conference in short order.  Perhaps this is the week that Kiffin will make good on his promise to use the flu as an excuse when his team performs poorly.  The obvious juxtaposition of this folly is that his team ALWAYS performs poorly.  Perhaps the flu excuse should be saved for that game when UT performs well-Vandy is still on the schedule, after all. 

In Gotham City…hordes of felons with no legitimate affiliation to Da’U committed various assaults, larcenies, and robberies to show their exuberance following Da’U’s come from behind victory over OU.  Big Game Bob was admittedly short-handed, but Miami appears to be a viable contender for  the ACC crown this year.  A fact which sends shivers down the spine of all legitimate BCS executives who stand to lose a ton of money if they get sandbagged with the Raiders…errr…..Hurricanes in a bowl game as the bulk of Da’U’s fan base can’t leave the county withuot permission from their probation officer.  In a related story, the ACC is investigating allegations that several students (that’s Dade County Community College Students-fyi) colluded with stadium officials to sit in designated seats where the stadium lights would refract off of their mouth jewelry and thereby blind Oklahoma’s quarterback.  No word on this yet. 

Quickly….Tebow?  We don’t need no Tebow, or so says Vegas, Florida opens as a 9-point fav over the Tigers of the Bayou…UNC is starting to turn on Coach Davis who has failed to deliver on his promise to make the Heel the “Powder Blue U”….Houston, we hardly knew ye’, and don’t want to after the a**-kicking handed to you this week…speaking of which, anyone want to pick up the mantle of the Big 12 about now? …South Floridais moving along with a showdown coming up with Cincinnati….LSU hasn’t lost a night game at Tiger Stadium since 2002 and Pope Urban is 28-3 with a bye-week…Stewart Mandel, possessor of marginal talent, has decreed Alabama as the best team in the Country, and SNL isn’t so sure he’s wrong (this time)…

 

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: ATS, Bama, BCS, Degenerate Gamblers, LSU, Meyer, SEC, Tebow, UGA, Urban Meyer

A little of dis’ and a little of Da’ U…

September 18, 2009 in ATS, Degenerate Gamblers, E-SPIN, Main Content | No comments

SNL has not yet had the opportunity to peruse the UM blogs, but judging by the increase in shootings in Dade County last night, fans of Da’U are placing their pride on display by doubling their meth intake.  Seriously, regular visitors know SNL loves to lampoon Da’ U, but also counts himself as an objective observer and prognosticator extraordinaire when it comes to CFB.  In effort to live up this admittedly self-proclaimed status and preserve what little respect fans of Da’ U appear to have for SNL, I must concede that Jacory Harris’ has emerged as the best quarterback in the ACC, and it’s not even close after Ponder’s performance against Jacksonville St. 

Through 2 games, Harris is hitting 70 percent of his passes for 11 yards per attempt and 16 per completion, with what appears to be 4 or 5 completely interchangeable (and speedy ) wideouts, none of whom is a household name.  Yet.  To further bolster the internal pain of this admission, SNL will point-out that he viewed G.Tech as a worthy investment-op at +6.  Apparently, there were many more non-believers, because this line dropped to 4 by game time, prompting SNL to greatly reduce his investment.  Before Cane fans start offering hugs and congratulatory pats to SNL, please know that  I continue have considerable disdain for the program, its fans, the City in general, which I was reminded of each time a sideline camera provided a glimpse of the gangsta’ fades sported by the Canes’ players a la Michael Irvin circa 1989.    That said if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck…

Moving On….YTD dropped to 4-3 ATS (5-3 unofficially), which will make Vincenzo happy.  For those visitors who have not made the lonely walk to the back of an Italian restaurant to pay an ex-wiseguy (I think it’s “ex”) for investment losses, let SNL assure you it is quite uncomfortable.  However, what’s more uncomfortable is walking to the back of Sal’s Fine Italian Dining” (replete with red and white checkered tablecloths) to collect investment winnings from a wise guy.  Here, the wise guy is Vinnie, who laughs without enthusiasm as he looks at his large, calloused hands and says without a smile, “[y]ou win any more kid, Vinnie’s gonna have to put these meat hooks around that tiny neck of yours.”   The shrill laugh that follows is just as discomforting, but cracks up the 4 or 5 other guys in Vinnie’s inner-circle, each of whom looks like he has (and would again) “erased” a soul or 2.  So, there is some silver lining to last night’s loss despite the blow to the ego.

Also, Mandel of SI fame has taken the torch for the PAC-10 in the now rote “who’s the best conference debate.”  Mandel goes on to take a thinly veiled shot at the SEC and specifically, Florida, pointing out that the best way to have a good non-conference record is to schedule “Charleston Southern and Troy.”  I have no problem with this because, well, it’s true.  Charleston Southern is an embarrassing game for a program that considers itself among the nation’s elite, and SNL care not what “the other guys are doing.” 

Even so, SNL likes and respects Gainesville Sun Sports Columnist, Pat Dooley, who in t turn speaks highly of Mandel.  But SNL just cannot get behind Mandel on this or any other topic.  This opinion was formed after a recent local sports radio appearance by Mandel, during which he seemed pained to be there and offered little other than some milk toast opinions about bowl tie-ins.  SNL, like most of the audience, was longing for Stewie Griffin about 30 seconds into the interview.  Couple that with the fact that Mandel, by virtue of his exalted status with si.com, has what amounts to a captive audience and uses this pulpit to promote his ridiculous “Mailbag Crush”, a sophomoric piece devoted to the adulation of a new up-and-coming starling each year, and SNL is pretty comfortable calling this guy a Jabrone.   Sure, this opinion is tinged with jealousy because being a lead writer for si.com trumps life as a trial attorney, but objective evidence indicates I’m right on the money.      

Finally…

Saturday’s Card is a tough one, with only 2 or 3 games that have any real appeal from an investment standpoint.  SNL will get the card out tonight, but here’s what we’re looking at folks:

FSU @ The Mormons (-7)

Miss. St. (+9) @ Vandy

So. Miss (-15) v. UVulA

WVU (+7.5) @ Auburn

UGA (+2.5) at Arkansas

we’ll get these pared down to something respectable this evening.  As always, comments, criticisms, and insights are welcome. 

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: ACC, BCS, Degenerate Gambler, Gators, UGA

Saturday’s Picks (1-1 ATS YTD) and an absurdly premature assessment of the Kiffin Regime

September 5, 2009 in ATS, Degenerate Gamblers, Main Content, Pope Meyer, UGA, Vols | No comments

Georgia (+5.5/61u) at Okie St.:  The more I look at this game, the more I like it.  UGA seems to have more talent on both lines of scrimmage, and more overall speed.  In addition, there’s some value here because this year’s UGA is (ostensibly)O a pedestrian outfit while Okie St. is everyone’s “dark horse” in the Big 12.  Not sure of UGA has the firepower to win this on outright, but like getting the 5.5 with a dog that can win outright. 

Wake Forest (-2) v. Baylor:  Like Skinner & Co. laying the small number against another team coveted by the E-SPIN heads.  Wake always plays well at home and has a tendency to under-promise and over-deliver as they did when Ole Miss came to town last year.  Still, can’t help but feel the ACC is the AIG of the CFB world, and Baylor is, well, a nice small-cap.  Take the points with confidence. 

Tennesseelooks alot like the kid you beat up on the last day of school who went home and juiced all summer for the sole purpose of kicking your ass in the fall.  Crompton is crisp, the o-line is strong, and the defense is big and athletic.  Kiffin is using alot of sets with a power running game and the offense looks like a big, ugly, orange version of the old Trojans.  In fact, UT looks like UT used to look every year albeit slightly more advanced. 

This really should come as no surprise as SNL posited last year that the “eyeball test” rendered UT a top-10 team.  In other words, it wasn’t talent that was lacking at UT, it was a team and administration torn by loyalty to a coach who’d done some great things, but was no longer capable of winning.  SNL will leave the reasons for UT’s demise under Fulmer to the loyalists, but suffice it to say that the Kiffin experiment looks good so far.

Is UT ready to beat Florida at The Swamp?  Probably not.  Still, UT will have a shot at a PAC-10 unit before coming to Gainesville while the Gators are digesting a D-II cupcake and a worse than expected Troy.  UT looks hungry and the Kiffin regime, which was so easy to mock during the summer, now appears to be a formidable foe.  Bryce Brown, by the bye, has a nice TD run and UT looks ready to ascend into the ranks of the SEC elite, which is a good thing for the league.  One thing’s for sure, Florida could use the SOS, but better be ready for a battle when the Vols come to town.

Bold prediction:  UT finishes with 9 wins, plays on Jan. 1, and finishes in the top 15.  The way Kiffin recruits, a the UF-UT rivalry is going to be great in the years to come.

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: Kiffin, Okie St., UGA, UT, Vols

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