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The Rest of Saturday’s Card,a word on the Gators, and an ode to Jimmy the Greek…

November 14, 2009 in ACC, ATS, BCS, E-SPIN, Gameday, Gators, Main Content, PAC 1 + 9, PAC 10, SEC | 2 comments

Phew…we at SNL have been running amok about the state of Florida this week.  Why you ask?  To bring you the very best in breaking CFB news and information?  Which you, loyal members of the flock can then parlay into a nifty nest egg to be frivolously spent on booze, rims, and Affliction gear  that matches your barbwire tattoo?  Not even close.

Still, we’ve managed to find a little time to put together a palatable slate of plays for those of you interested in this sort of thing…you know who you are, you’re called “degenerates” by people of good repute.

Florida at USC (+17.5):  We posted earlier this week on what a strange year this has been for the Gator allegiant.  Like Dickinson said many years ago…It was the best of times, it was the worst of times… 

What we expect is more of the same from our beloved Gators…good defense and so many field goals you’ll feel like your watching Australian Rules…Throw in the slugger’s chance you always have when The Visor is pacing the sidelines with his diabolical playbook and the fact the ‘Cocks are pretty stiff at home (who can resist?), and we’ll take the generous 17 plus the hook. 

Afterwards, we’ll join the rest of the Gators in listening stone-faced to Urban’s typical, taciturn post-game press conference which will include some variation of the following statement “that was Florida football out there, field position, protect the ball, and good defense,” and if we’re lucky to catch our stoic leader on a peppy day, something like “any win in the SEC is a good win.”  He’ll be right of course, but we’ll still feel like we just took a smokin’ hot girl to a $200.00 dinner at Ruth’s Chris and didn’t even get a kiss at the door. 

Florida 23-13, and don’t bother DVR’ing the game, you won’t want to watch it twice.

Utah (+20.5) at TCU:  We here at SNL love us some Utes.  No, not because they were kind of enough to give us Urban Meyer in exchange for a truckload of money.  Rather, our love is founded on irony:  As in, “it’s ironic that the Utes do not aspire to the ethnic and religious homogeneity of their sister university, BYU.”  Because of this willingness to embrace athletes who are more err….athletic- yea! That’s it…athleitc!!-than those of the Provo variety, the Utes can hang around with TCU.   Here’s to you Jimmy the Greek!

TCU 28-13…buy the hook an make sure you get the three touchdonwns, you’ll be white-knuckling until the end of this one.

The Best of the Rest:

Miss St. (+12.5) over ‘Bama

Da’U v. UNC o44

Stanford (+10.5) over the Boy-Troys

Notre Dame (+7) over Pitt…

-So sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: ACC, ATS, Bama, BCS, Degenerate Gamblers, Gators, Horned Frogs, Meyer, Spurrier, USC, Utes

Monday Morning Quarterbacking: Flori-Bama, Spikes, UGA and other thoughts…

November 2, 2009 in ATS, BCS, E-SPIN, Layla Kiffin, Main Content | No comments

The good Doctor reports that Richt is under siege from UGA supporters hell bent on replacing Cox, whose 3 int’s arguably turned the UF-UGA tilt from the “respectable loss” realm into the “damn-UGA-got-their-***-kicked-by-UF-again” variety.  True to form, Richt will not be airing his team’s laundry to the press, which is laudable by most standards, but it does seem that explanations for UGA’s struggles will be owed as long as Richt is drawing a few million a year for his troubles. 

Speaking of which, Dawgsports‘ post-defeat write-up on the game is well articulated, so well in fact it takes those of us now living in the heightof Florida’s Renaissance back to the days of yore, when Florida’s head coach looked like a well-muscled oompa loompa and would occasionally involve himself in physical altercations with fraternity brothers.  True, Zook never even approached the success that Rich has had, but the pain of losing is universal, especially in the South where our respective football allegiance is the engine that drives our towns, economies, and often, live-which is, as my yankee brethren often point out with much sarcasm, kind of pathetic.  (No, not you Vandy, you’re not like the other boys).  Seriously, give the post a read, it’s great. 

Glass half-full or half empty?  Those Gators fans not busy defending Spikes’ eye-gouge, which is apparently going to warrant a suspension by the Commish, are lauding the UGA game as Florida’s return to form as the dominant power in CFB.  “Florida’s offense is back,” they say, “See you in Pasadena!” 

SNL has made a living mocking the ups and downs of the Gator faithful, many of whom were questioning the viability of Meyer’s offensive scheme at the mid-point of last season, so this week’s euphoria comes as no surprise.  But it’s way too soon to declare Saturday’s win over a very pedestrian UGA outfit as some sort of Waterloo.  The truth is, UGA moved the ball efficiently enough to call into doubt the conventional notion that UF’s defense is the equal of its SEC West reciprocal, Alabama.  And, the offense was spotty at times, though better, and benefitted greatly from some short field scoring opportunities which inflated the score.  True, UGA was coming off a bye and had so much at stake, which was evidenced by the jaw-boning going on on that field.  Still, is was a workmanlike win at best which, when considering the cardiac moments of the past couple of games, will do thank you very much.  Florida is still struggling to get consistent pressure from its down four and the DTs in particular aren’t getting much push.  A better effort will be called upon by the time Saban’s crew arrives in the ATL and that’s a fact.  Put another way, make sure you know well your Cancellation Policy when you book your rooms in Pasadena. 

Quickly…a thanks to the Ducks for emphatically ensuring that we won’t have to suffer from the frosted-tipped heads at E-SPIN heads telling us in unison that “USC is better than anyone in the country right now,”  throughout the month of November.    Sorry Poodle, this year’s Men of Troy are non-good and non-factors in the PAC 1 + 9 (with the “1′ being Oregon.  The inevitable downside is that Boise has another bullet, of an admittedly small caliber, to throw at the pollsters by virtue of its opening day win over Oregon.  Still a trade up.  FSU and Da’ U squeaked out winsthis weekend.  Say waht you will, Ponder continues to prove that his is good, very good, and will be playing on Sundays.  The OBC was depantsed by Laya Kiffin’s Husband, which is sad but has some upside in that UT is quickly becoming the object of Florida’s hate, and will remain so until UGA rights the ship and wins a few games in Jax. 

Finally….‘Bama has opened as a 9-point favorite over LSU, a line that seems not be reflective of LSU’s recent thumping of Auburn (who just thumped Ole Miss), and ‘Bama’s struggle v. UT.  On the other hand, ‘Bama shows up in big games under Saban, so maybe the line is about right.  We don’t have to decide until later this week. 

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: Bama, Gators, Meyer, Saban, Spikes, The Poodle, USC

Welcome to the Flori-Bama: The Parallels Continue for the Tide and Gators

October 16, 2009 in ACC, Degenerate Gamblers, Dr. Saturday, E-SPIN, Gators, Main Content, Notre Dame, PAC 1 + 9, UGA | No comments

For those members of the flock that are hard-of-thinking, the foregoing picture is a metaphor for last Saturday’s “showdowns,” which turned out to be beatdowns, but provided the home teams fan base with a great chance to drink excessively. 

SNL recently posted on the “Flori-Bama”.  This quasi-clever moniker (which is also the name of a world famous bar on the state line) is SNL’s way of saying that Florida and Alabama are equal but opposite reciprocals of one another, and on a collision course for ATL and in turn, the BCSNCG. 

For the most part, the similarities were obvious before last week, when both Alabama and Florida shut down top-20 teams on the road in the most pugilistic of ways, stifling defenses and plodding, conservative offenses with a run-first philosophy.  Sure there are other similarities; both programs are helmed by taciturn, tight-lipped, control freaks who lord over their respective programs (and states for that matter) like medieval warlords and both fan bases are beyond fervent.  For the most erudite Florida fans, the fact that the Gators under Pope Meyer are a single-wing, power running team (and have been for awhile now) that is thinly camouflaged by offensive sets with wide receivers running thither and yon, is not only no surprise, but is welcomed. 

For many, however, this concept is upsetting.  This is particularly true amongst those who still recall with giddy reverie the days when the OBC would fill the air with footballs.  Be that as it may, SNL has accepted if nt embraced the fact that Meyer’s Gators are and will likely remain a team created in ‘Bama’s image-which is a good thing.  And, when these titans meet in the ATL this year, the collision will be epic-though the scoreboard may not reflect the genius of the respective generals on each sideline. 

SNL’s prescience has lost some of its shine now that the mainstream heads at si.com and E-SPIN have jumped on the bandwagon, but we will continue to site to our previous post as evidence that we were way out in front of this story. 

Well, flock, the parallels between the SEC behemoths continues this week when Alabama hosts USC and Florida hosts Arkansas.  For the records, Vegas has made ‘Bama a mere 17-point favorite over USC, and Florida a whopping 24-point favorite over the Hawgs.  The camps of both underdogs are predictably mum on the chances for an upset, and who can blame them.  More on the actual matchups later, let’s do some housekeeping. 

Last week, 7-4 ATS, 18-13 YTD.  By now, most teams are who we thought they were, and the wins are starting to come at a pace which will have the wifey in some new jewelry at season’s end.  SNL’s winning percentage in year’s past has been roughly 57% in weeks 1 through 5, and 67% in weeks 5 through 14.  Se we expect to keep on rolling.

Dis and Dat….The wheels remain intact in Athens, but barely.  Too bad because even the most calloused Gator fan can see that Richt is a good Coach and a better person.  Still, the fratricide of the SEC is unrelenting and losing to Layla Kiffin’s husband will fire up any fan base because, well, that guy’s a total jackass.  Speaking of wheels, another tough week for the ‘Noles, losing at home to Tech having been compounded by the details of the cheating schedule.  Far be it for SNL to pile on, but if you’re going to give scholarships to players who read a second-grade level (after a few years of “college” no less), you should have the common decency to be a good football team.  On the upside, by virtue of consistently sucking for 5-years or so, no one is saying that the “wheels are coming off” in Tallahassee, that ship has sailed. 

Erstwhile…Da’ U will be without 4 starters when it visits UCF tomorrow, which won’t matter, and USFwas rolled at home by Cincinnati, a fact which is further illustrative of FSU’s precipitous fall from grace since, you know, the Bulls crushed the ‘Noles in Doak with a Backup QB a few weeks back.  Finally, this is a grand week for all of CFB.  Why?  Because Notre Damehas to play USC, which will effectively foreclose any more talk of the Clausen-for-heisman, a loss for the limousine industry, but a win for Irish-haters everywhere.  The downside, of course, is the inevitable “USC is playing as well as anyone in the country right now,”  which will be a talking point for all of the frosted tipped fellows at E-SPIN. 

Picks out tomorrow…

-So Sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: ATS, Degenerate Gambler, DEGENERATES, Layla Kiffin, Noles, PAC 1+9, SEC, Spurrier, The Hat, UGA, Urban Meyer, USC

SATURDAY’S PICKS: BACK IN THE GAME

November 14, 2008 in ACC, BCS, E-SPIN, Gators, Main Content, PAC 1 + 9, PAC 10, SEC | 1 comment

3-2 last week, pushing the overall ATS record to 10 games over .500.  Not good enough to guarantee the wife a pair of those f***ing diamond earring that keep “popping up” in her f***ing Madamoiselle and Vogue mags, but good enough to keep vig off my tuckas.
First last night’s highlight reel-don’t worry its onle a few secs in duration.  The remainder of the game was about like watching unattractive drunk chicks fistfight at Mango’s-which is a metaphor for abject offensive futility without the potential for hot girls topless. 

 
The trouble with this week is that its quiet.  No viable upsets on the horizon and no marquee games betwwen ranked opponents.  Come to think of it, this whole weekend is likely to be like watching drunk chicks fight.  Even so, SNL never met a CFB board that didn’t present opportunities to make a return on equity, even though he has and does often miss the “opportunities.”  Moving on…
Wake Forest v. NCSU (+3.5/42):  Riley Skinner, Wake’s Senior QB, is more or less competent, and at times, even skilled in the passing game.  NCSU, has become a balanced club and continues to improve, beating Duke on the road last week after narrowly losing to Maryland and Florida State during the preceding 2 weeks.  SNL likes the evenly matched clubs here to score more than 42 points, but not much more.  Warning:  This game, like every ACC game, would be better if viewed via time-lapse videography. 
Vandy at Kentucky (-4):  Kentucky reminds me of a neighborhood kid that SNL often beat upon, we’ll call him Chip.   Chip was irritating.  Chip was loud.  Chip was stupid.  Chip was also the eighth kid-which meant we needed Chip for 4 on 4 basketball and football games-so we couldn’t get rid of him.  Chip also was tenacious-so tenacious, in fact, that you often tired of beating him before he gave up, and he would get in a blow or 2 toward the end. 
Vandy is like a girl that lived next door to SNL during his elementary days, we’ll call her Mary.  Mary couldn’t throw.  Mary couldn’t run. 
Since Chip could have whipped Mary, Kentucky will whip Vandy.  Brilliant!! Give the points.
Texas (-13/67o) at Kansas:  Poor Texas. The Horns hooked their way past the Sooners but seem to be the odd man out in the silly-strong Big 12 South irrespective of the outcome of the T/’OU game next week.  This probably pisses Texas off-alot.  Mangina (this is a pun on the word angina perverts) will stroke- out after the ‘Horns hang 50+ on the Jayhawks.  Take UT and the Over-it will be delicious.
Cal v. Oregon St. (-3):  Still waiting for the dream matchup of the Beavers and ‘Cocks in a bowl game, but SNL digresses.  SNL hates USC.  Why is this relevant?  Because the Beavers kicked the crap out of the Trojans and Cal just got manhandled.  So the Beavers did SNL a solid wherease the so-called Golden Bears just threw a log on the “USC-is-the-best-team-at-the-end-of-the-year” fire. 
USC continues to greedily stockpile blue-chippers, but remains the 6th best team in CFB-on a good day.  The Beavers do me another solid and thump Cal as repayment for their weakness and to further lowes SC’s SOS.  Beavers score early and often!
-So Sayeth the Shepherd 

Tags: ACC, PAC 1+9, SEC, USC

GATORS v. USC: REAL ‘BAMA PLEASURE, WITHOUT LIGHTING UP

November 11, 2008 in E-SPIN, Gators, Main Content, Pope Meyer, SEC, Saban, TV SCHEDULE | No comments

 
SNL would be remiss were he to fail to comment on the unisoned euphoria gripping the Gator faithful this week.  Like a corpulent man atop a bed of doughnuts, the Gator Nation is fat, happy and complacent.  If the local airwaves are a fair indicator, and they usually are, the bulk of the Gators nation is far more concerned with Florida’s BCS opponent than it is with the remaining foes, which include three ranked teams-one of whom, you might have noticed, is #1.   
This is, after all, the “way of things” since Spurrier’s era of hegemonic dominance was followed up with Urban’s immediately gratifying 2006 title, and it really pisses SNL off.  Why?  Because South Carolina has won 5 in a row, and FSU lies in wait.  Both ranked, both good, and both looking to make their season by beating Florida. 
And yet, the bulk of Gator fans, lin true nuovo riche fashion, are busy booking rooms in Miami-when not discussing the margin of victory of the pending SEC title game, of course.  The whole thing is enough to make you sick.  The only solace for those who, like SNL, know that significant heavy lifting remains, is that Pope Meyer will pull every string possible to create a Chinese wall between the fans (and the pundits driving this vehicle) and using sheer will if necessary, exhort his team to victory this Saturday.  Speaking of which…
South Carolina is good.  In fact, South Carolina is every bit the equal of Gator-nemesis, ‘Bama, on the defensive side of the ball.   Don’t believe it?  South Carolina is 3rd inthe Country in total defense; ‘Bama is 4th.  South Carolina is 10th in scoring defense; ‘Bama is 7th.  If you want to split hairs, ‘Bama holds teams to about 30 yards less per game rushing than the Cocks (which means the Cocks hold teams to about 30 yards less passing). 
The real significance, however, of Saturday’s contest for the Gators, particularly when Florida has the ball, is that USC (like ‘Bama) runs a 3-4 as its base defensive scheme.  This is somewhat unusual, and allows for a multitude of defensive looks and blitz packages.  Given that the personnel for USC and ‘Bama are roughly commensurate, at least statistically, Florida should be able to assess what it can do in the ATL and get a jump on their gameplan for the Tide. 
For fans not concerned about base sets, coverage techniques, and other technical minutiae, the foregoing can be interpreted as follows:  South Carolina’s defense is the best defense UF has faced this year, and its not even close (Sorry, LSU).  So don’t expect a Vandy-ish, or even a Geargia-ish offensive performance Saturday.  In fact, expect the opposite.  Field position, turnovers, and grinding, lengthy drives should be the norm this Saturday.  UF should prevail by a resaonably comfortable margin of 14-17 points, but it won’t come early, and it won’t come easy.
So, Gators, stop running around agog like the hottest girl in school accepted your lascivious-based offer to escort her to prom, and put on your big boy pants.  There’s time enough to worry about ‘Bama and the Big 12 later.
-So Sayeth the Shepherd

Tags: Pope Meyer, SEC, Spurrier, USC